Archive for May, 2007
My usual scan of Google news brought up an article telling marketers why they should consider advertising on dating sites.
Online dating is an incredibly fast-growing segment of the Internet. Dating sites received more than 2 million unique visitors from the Nordic countries of Denmark, Finland, Norway and Sweden in Q1 alone. But, is that a good enough reason to advertise within dating sites?
Yes. If the ad is targeted correctly.
Well duh! I’ve never heard of that site, so it might tbe one of those sites that group weak content around adverts, but come on.
I mean, I know some agencies have a hard time getting the idea into their heads that dating sites are good for brand association, because I’ve worked with some agencies that were meant to sell ads on our sites and just never bothered to actually try to sell the space. I also know that because of the long session times and the fact that there are a lot of page views per unique visitors then the amount of money you can get for the traffic is not as high as it could be.
But, with that said, any decent dating site could do some serious, serious targeting – more so than most types of sites out there – simply because of the amount of information they collect about the users (age, sex, location, ethnicity, income, children, education, etc.). People share all that information publicly on their profiles, where they normally wouldn’t put those details into any other website.
Apart from allowing advertisers to get a good idea of the demographics for branding, this is great for direct response stuff, as in actually getting people to click through and buy stuff. I find it hard to believe that there are still people out there who don’t get that. I’d much rather thing it’s just some of the people who write about the industry that are that backwards!
May 28th, 2007
Introducing: CheatNeutral :
Jealousy and heartbreak are a natural part of modern life. And sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it’s just not possible to be faithful.
At Cheatneutral, we believe that we should all try to reduce the amount we cheat on our partners, but we also realise that fidelity isn’t always possible.
That’s why we help you neutralise your cheating. Your actions are offset by a global network of fidelity, developed by us. By paying Cheatneutral, you’re funding monogamy-boosting offset projects – we simply invest the money you give us in monogamous, faithful or just plain single people, to encourage them to stay that way.
Will all the married guys lurking on dating sites please give generously and help make our world a better place!
OK, so it’s actually a joke to make a statement about how carbon offsetting is a joke, but I still love it 
(Thanks to Roy for this one)
May 27th, 2007
Internet lothario meets his match
A serial internet dater who was banned from one site for displaying a “lack of commitment” has finally met his Ms Right, it is reported.
(Full story here)
I totally missed out on this when the news came out, but just found it on the Pocado news section.
I remember this guy from my moderating days. It wasn’t our site that banned him, and looks like that was the right move
Maybe all he needed was the love of the right woman?
May 27th, 2007
In past posts in this blog, I sang the praises of social networking sites and talked about how much more natural the meeting process is on there.
Now, after reading the article linked to below, it’s time to talk about the Other Side
The early adopters of social networking technology were not only those separated from their friends and family by means of physical distance but also those who didn’t quite fit in with their immediate, real life environment. Sites like livejournal and Myspace are notorious for being the haunt of teenage (and older) goths who make use of the exhibitionist nature of those sites in order to finally live out their fantasies of having an active social circle and look mysterious and cool. While the ability to network with others via a mutual friend is very handy, having your friends’ list displayed in a prominent location can make the whole thing turn into a massive popularity contest, a fact which is now much abused by PR companies. People wear their friends and favourite artists like badges of honour, becoming “better people” by having a busy profile. Even the interaction is done publicly, to create the feel of being very socially involved.
Continue Reading May 25th, 2007
Different people have different ideas of how soon people should meet up after becoming acquainted via online dating.
As a general rule, it’s women who usually tend to be a bit more cautious (for obvious reasons) but you may well find some men who prefer to take their time, as well as women who like to move faster.
Some dating sites are more likely to appeal to those who want to take their time (such as those sites that cater to those seeking serious relationships) while others will have a larger concentration of fast paced daters. So how do you decide on the bes time?
Continue Reading May 23rd, 2007
Want a sneak preview of Everyone’s Guide to Online Dating? Now you can download a free chapter!
Get Chapter 1 of Everyone’s Guide to Online Dating (free .pdf file download)
May 23rd, 2007
For most people trying online dating, the most unpleasant situation in store will be a dull date. However, that is not always the case.
The truth is, online dating is about as safe as any other type of dating performed with perfect and near-perfect strangers: most strangers are likely to be perfectly harmless, but sadly, not all. It
pays to avoid any potentially hazardous situations until you know for sure the person you are meeting is OK.
Self-defence instructors usually say that the best defence is never to get into a dangerous situation in the first place.
You wouldn’t walk alone at night in a bad part of town, waving a wallet full of cash at potential robbers – that’s common sense.
No amount of martial arts would help you more than the simple act of avoiding the area altogether.
Similarly, the Internet has its own dark alleys and potential robbers, but
once you familiarise yourself with both the danger signs and the basic precautions, you can keep perfectly safe.
Make the following rules a part of your online dating routine and you will hopefully never experience any of the situations that have made them necessary.
When choosing and joining a dating site:
- Choose a reputable site -
never give money to a site that won’t let you search its database for free. The industry standard is ‘try before you buy’.
- Make sure to read the terms and conditions of the site when you sign up so you know exactly what it is you’re signing.
Many sites treat your membership like a magazine subscription: they will keep charging you until you tell them to stop. Make sure you know if this is the case and what you need to do to cancel.
- Beware of any site without a clearly visible privacy policy and terms & conditions. If not available on the site, you should be able to email and ask for them and have them sent to you promptly. Do not sign up to a site that cannot produce either.
While dating online:
- Protect your privacy by maintaining control of personal details such as your full name, telephone number, place of work, home address and even your email address. Never list any of those in your public profile
- Work or home address
Having someone turn up unwanted and uninvited at your work or home can be quite disconcerting, even if the person is fairly harmless. To
avoid such incidents, it’s generally agreed that you shouldn’t give out your address
until you’ve met someone in person at least once, if not more than once.
- Full name
Your full name, together with other details you may happen to give out (general area of residence, industry you work in, university you go to, etc.) can be enough for a determined person to locate your physical address. Avoid choosing usernames that reveal your full name and don’t reveal your last name to people you are unsure of.
- Phone number/email
Obviously, if you’re on a dating site, you will want to communicate with people. Sooner or later your communications will take you off site. Giving out your email address is generally considered fine, unless it’s your work address or an address that contains your full name.
Many people sign up to a free email account (hotmail, gmail, etc.) and use that to communicate with people they meet on dating sites, this way, everything is kept separate. Similarly, a mobile phone number is better to give out than a landline number, because it cannot be used to trace your address.
- Watch out for the danger signs , most are pretty obvious
- Things that are too good to be true
If a gorgeous young underwear model is dating on your site and says she is looking for a man to love her, ‘age and looks not important’, it may seem like you have struck gold, but stop and think for a minute , is this really likely?
That man may say he’s a rich city trader who moonlights as a male model and an actor, but is that really the case?
If the person in question then declares his/her love without ever having met you in person , that’s another sign things are not as they should be. It may be time to engage the help of the site’s support team and ask whether this person is a scammer.
- People asking for money
The net is full of scammers, but their ultimate goal , scamming people out of money , is exactly what makes them so easy to spot and avoid. Scammers use various sob stories to try and get money out of unsuspecting victims. If the person you’ve recently met online starts asking you for money, that’s a sign to leave, or at least have them checked out by the site’s support team.
- Potential stalker material
People who express their love to you too soon or get upset when you want to end a conversation or speak to other people may well turn out to be overly clingy at best and stalkers at worst. This is especially true for those who act this way before (or shortly after) you meet in person for this first time.
Abusive outbursts, even online ones, are generally a very bad sign, even when followed by an immediate apology.
Both men and women can exhibit these unwholesome qualities and if something makes you feel ill at ease, trust your instincts and move on.
When meeting people in person:
More detailed online dating advice, tips and information are available in Everyone’s guide to online dating: the only online dating book
written specifically for the UK market.
order now from Amazon.co.uk
May 22nd, 2007
Is the world of online dating all it’s cut out to be?
It may not a magic cure to everything that ails you, but Internet dating is indeed
as highly popular and as effective as us dating industry professionals say it is. Sure, in love, like in life, nothing is
ever guaranteed, but as you are reading this, people all over
the world are falling in love, hooking up and getting married as a result of trying online dating. It does actually work for
people,or it wouldn’t be the billion dollar industry it is today.
For some people, though, the experience is not as successful. Mistakes are easy to make when trying something
for the first time.
If you are going to get anywhere with online dating, there are a few things you’ll need to get your head around.
The following should give you an idea of what it takes to get results out of the online dating world.
- Put the effort in
Online dating may be simple and easy to use, but that doesn’t mean you should simply sit back and let things happen.
By making the decision to date online, you are effectively making a commitment to yourself and your own happiness.
This may sound a bit serious, but there is no need for stress. All this means is that you are saying to yourself that your well-being matters to
you and that you are willing to take steps towards a better life for yourself.
Putting the effort in doesn’t have to mean sacrificing all your free time and energy, but it does mean you should treat your decision to date online with
the respect both it and you deserve.
- Research and try out a few different dating sites before choosing one to join.
You can ask your friends which sites worked for them, read dating site reviews or just sign up for a few free demo accounts or trials
and see which one you like best. Being on the wrong site can make all the difference between finding the right person
and finding only people you would never dream of dating.
- Spend some time making your profile attractive by choosing a good picture and writing stuff that matters.
Don?t be tempted to leave things cryptic and minimal: make yourself stand out!
- Think before you click: putting some effort into the messages you send people on the site will go a long way towards getting you replies.
Make sure you really read someone’s profile before saying hello and try to go behind the obvious and really show you’ve paid attention.
- Spend time searching for suitable people and be prepared to kiss a fair number of frogs before your prince or princess appears.
Online dating is a numbers’ game and if you have any standards, you wil most likely have to go on a few disappointing dates. Accept it and don’t give up.
- Keep safe
People vary quite greatly in the way they embrace the online dating experience.
While some treat it with caution, following all the safety guidelines to the dot, others simply jump in there,
assuming everything will be OK.
Let?s face it: most online dating experience don?t end in disaster. If they did,
Internet dating would have died off long ago. This has much to do with the fact that online dating crime is reasonably limited,
but following the safety rules and keeping a level head are also important contributing factors.
Planning for the best while preparing for the worst is the best way of ensuring a safe, happy online dating experience.
- Read, memorise and follow online dating safety advice. Sound, basic advice is readily available
on all good dating sites, with more detailed advice available in various online dating guides, including, of course,
my book.
- Remember that the people you meet online are strangers and exercise the appropriate level of caution until you are satisfied that they are OK.
- With this in mind, take precautions when meeting people for the first time, particularly if you are a woman.
Meet in a public place, let a friend or relative know who you?re meeting and where and prearrange a way to signal for help in the unlikely
case you may need to do so (better to be safe than sorry, right?).
- Be on the look out for online dating scammers who may try to sell you sob stories to get you
to send them money. On the whole, it?s a Really Bad Idea to send money to anyone you met on the Internet,
regardless of what sad story they tell. If you suspect anyone of being a scammer, or if someone you met
seems too good to be true, consult your dating site?s customer service team, who should be well-experienced at
spotting and dealing with such scammers. They will also keep your query confidential.
- Enjoy the experience
One of the main gripes some people have with online dating is that it can sometimes take the
element of fun from the dating experience. It doesn?t have to be this way. Just because the process can
sometimes seem like a cross between applying for a job and interviewing potential job candidates,
doesn?t mean you can?t go out, have fun and enjoy the feeling of being a girl or guy about town. In fact, many online daters say
that joining a dating site and going on dates has in itself turned their lives around.
- Be happy! If you?ve been out of the dating experience for a while, going out and interacting with various
friendly strangers could be just what you need to get you back on your feet.
- Even a bad date can teach you
something about yourself and your own needs, wants and goals. Treat each one as a stepping stone that’s getting you one step closer to finding your mate.
- Don’t give up. It may take time and a bit of effort, but if you stick with it, you’re in with a good chance of
finding the right person for you. If you give up, however, you’re guaranteed to fail.
- Keep living your life
What do revenge and happiness have in common?
They can both be achieved by living well.
But while action movies may suffer if their angry, bereaved heroes all dropped their weapons and headed to the nearest spa,
your own life would only improve if you put your love-search in perspective. Sure, finding someone to share your life with is a
noble cause and should be treated as such, but there is no need to let it dominate your life.
The happiest relationships are those that stem out of a wish to complement someone?s life,
rather than act as a crutch. Apart from giving yourself a chance to enjoy the other parts of your life, being happy with
yourself will also make you more attractive to others. So while you?re looking for your dream man or dream woman,
don?t put your life on hold. Go out with your friends, enjoy your hobbies,
learn something new and take care of yourself and your own needs.
When the time comes and you find the right person, you will know that you are doing it for the right reasons.
As the title suggests, this article is meant to serve as an introduction to what it takes to make online dating work
for you.
More detailed online dating advice, tips and information are available in Everyone?s guide to online dating: the only online dating book
written specifically for the UK market. Find out more or
order your copy.
May 21st, 2007
It’s actually more exciting than I thought it would be. It’s an actual book, with my name on it
I guess you don’t quite realise it’s real until you are holding the actual product in your hand.
May 20th, 2007
Please ignore the weirdness.
May 19th, 2007
The BBC is reporting the results of a few interesting pieces of research about UK Internet use demographics. Apaprently, The heaviest online users in the UK are not young men, as previously taught, but 18-34 women and men over 50. Interestingly, the most visited websites are said to be those to do with parenting and childcare, as well as high street shop sites and “social networking sites like Facebook”. I’d have thought Myspace was far more popular in the UK. PR plant? Or maybe I’m just wrong?
I wonder if this trend is an indication of a predominance of stay at home moms who spend a lot of time online? when I was at Allegran, our fastest-growing site was DatingForParents and I’ve always felt it fulfiled an actual need, rather than a mere niche.
As for the men over 50, I’m at a loss. It looks like if you’re a guy over 50, looking for a much younger woman, you may actually be in with a chance. Statistically, at least
That aside, it’s always good to get a glimpse at the demographics of your market (tapped or otherwise). New product ideas anyone?
May 17th, 2007
Copies should be with the retailers within a week or so. The Amazon buying links on the right should actually work now
I am back from holiday and am trying to sort out things such as press releases and publicity.
Hopefully, things are about to get busy!
May 16th, 2007
I’m going away on holiday. Service will resume when I return.
May 6th, 2007
With online dating getting so competitive, it’s getting harder and harder for sites to stand out and get noticed. Companies resort to all kinds of silly and nasty tricks to get media attention, which always amazes me. Why do people go to all that trouble when any decent-sized dating site already has a readily available massive PR resource just waiting to be used?
Continue Reading May 1st, 2007
