Archive for August, 2007
Here’s a seemingly rather shocking case: an American man dating on a sex site met up and slept with a girl whose profile said she was 18, only to discover later (when police surrounded his house) that he’d slept with a 14 year old girl.
Said guy sued said site for damages and lost, which I’m sure will warm the heart of every site owner out there.
I know from experience how hard (read: impossible) it is to prevent people from lying about their age on sites. The girl would have had to borrow her parents’ credit card to sign up to the site, as well as lie about her age. If someone is willing to lie and steal to place a profile on your site, there is very little you can do, unless you start doing serious background checks (and those have already been proven to be somewhat pointless). It’s usually much easier to tell in person whether someone is 14 or 18.
While I feel sorry for the guy and don’t think he should have necessarily received such a heavy penalty, I’m happy to see the law recognising the fact that the site itself is not responsible. The only thing I would say is that maybe the bit in the T&C about not being able to 100% guarantee the information provided by members is accurate should be made a bit clearer, rather than (probably) being hidden somewhere half way down the list. Really, though, a bit of personal responsibility should be factored into any dating experience.
Opinions?
August 30th, 2007
Last week, I went to a tango class for the first time in a while. It was a new class with an entirely new crowd of people I’d never danced with before. having danced with about 10 different guys throughout the class, I was suddenly struck by how much can be learnt about people from this type of physical, non-sexual interaction. Couples’ dances are a form of conversation. There is a leader and a follower, it requires clarity and attentiveness on both parts to create a flow of movement and create something beautiful together.
I can’t think of a better metaphor for relationships. In fact, I am pretty certain you can learn a lot about the way people are in their relationships by observing the way they interact with each other while dancing.
Continue Reading August 19th, 2007
I run into a lot of people who tell me they tried online dating and it didn’t work for them. When I ask for more details and get the full story, it usually turns out they’d tried one dating site and when it didn’t meet their expectations assumed all dating sites are the same and quit trying altogether.
In my opinion, you’ve not really given online dating a proper chance until you’ve looked at 5-10 sites and properly tried (as in, signed up for the free account, ran a detailed search and maybe even joined the free trial) at least 2-3. There are literally thousands of sites out there and while there are things that are bound to be similar, there’s also plenty of differences in everything from features to audience. a Ford Fiesta and an Audi TT are both cars: they both have wheels and seats, etc. but driving one would not necessarily tell you all there is to know about driving the other. If it’s driving itself you don’t enjoy, the differences may pass you by, but until you’ve tried a few different cars, you may not be able to pinpoint exactly what it is you dislike.
If you’re on a dating site that isn’t delivering you the results you want, try a different one and try to make it as different as possible – bigger, smaller, more niche, more generic – whatever can give you a broader taste of the industry. If you’re short of inspiration, there’s a detailed list of (mostly UK-based sites) in my book or for a quick list of good sites to try, take a look at my list.
You may discover that what you dislike is common to all dating sites, or you may well discover there is more to online dating than you thought.
August 19th, 2007
Super-short notice but I will be on BBC World News’ “The world today” at about 7pm UK time, which is in about half an hour or so.
I will be commenting on this news story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6943616.stm
August 13th, 2007
Welcome to the August 8, 2007 edition of online dating blog carnival.
When I decided to experiment with the whole blog carnival thing last month, I wasn’t sure exactly what was going to happen. There didn’t seem to be much interest to begin with, making me think that maybe the whole thing was a waste of time. Luckily,
after the rather modest beginning in July (thanks to all those that contributed!) it seems things are starting to pick up for this carnival. This month sees a broader range of topics covered with an interesting choice of topics. So here we go…
Continue Reading August 8th, 2007
Advertising can be an important source of revenue and, for free sites, the only source of revenue. We all know about Markus and his plentyoffish Adwords empire (we do, don’t we?) but we also know that things are usually not as straightforward as that.
Continue Reading August 7th, 2007
I teamed up with Topdreamdates.com and Gorgeousdating.com for a prize giveaway.
We’re giving away some Green&Black’s gift boxes and tickets to Amora London.
If you live in the UK and are over 18, it’s worth taking a look.
For the full details, visit: http://www.gorgeousdating.com/?region=19&article=5602
August 6th, 2007
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been in and out of London, enjoying the Great British Festival scene. As a result, I’ve had a chance to speak to a lot of new people from all over the country about “the whole online dating thing”.
I had a number of very interesting conversations with people who all raised the same problem they have with online dating. They all felt that dating sites made the whole process of introduction seem too much like a job application, making it unromantic. They all preferred the old method of going out there and running into people by chance, trusting their heart (or “fate”) to make the right decision for them.
I know online dating professionals often like to talk about how superior the online method is to traditional dating exactly because of the fact that it’s focused and involves making decisions with your head first and then the heart, but personally I feel that this is a matter of personal preference. Some people are always going to be ruled by their heads, while some are more intuitive by nature. Throughout the centuries, people have found love using both of these methods, so I don’t care to fault either one.
Continue Reading August 5th, 2007
