Choosing a photo for your online dating profile

If you’re here then you probably already know that uploading a picture to your online dating profile is a must. Most people won’t even bother looking at your profile without one and many will make snap judgements about you based on the photo you upload.
Unless you’re comfortable and natural in front of a camera and already know your best side, this will have undoubtedly caused you some concern by now. In general, women tend to overdo it, whereas men are notoriously bad at picking unflattering photos. There are, of course exceptions…

Here are some tips for helping you choose the right photo:

  1. The basic makings of a good photo to be used on an online dating site
  2. The photo needs to be a clear headshot that’s well, but flatterlingly lit (no red eye or overly bright light that makes you look pale or highlights any imperfections). Avoid dodgy webcam shots that make your skin look like you have some kind of terrible skin disease.

    Try to smile and look happy, unless that makes you look forced and uncomfortable. Natural shots are best, rather than posed.

  3. Some photos to avoid using in your dating profile
  4. Women – unless you’re on a casual dating site and are specifically looking for sex, don’t show too much skin. Men won’t bother reading enough of your profile to read about how you’re actually looking for love if they see too much cleavage. Sad but true.

    Old photos where you look 10 years younger but nothing like you do today should be left out.

    Professional makeover shots only make people think you look like a dog when you’re without makeup.

    Posed photos where you’re illustrating your hobbies (aka “here I am in my ninja outfit”) will make you look pretentious.

    Pictures that include other people in them.

  5. Taking and selecting photos for your profile
  6. Think natural so try to feel comfortable in front of the camera even if you hate it. The best way is to go somewhere that’s well-lit where you feel comfortable and get someone take lots of photos of you with a digital camera so you can choose the best ones.

    It’s OK to have a professional photographer take the pictures, but not in a studio where they would look posed. You just want someone with a good eye to take photos in a natural setting where you are relaxed and can be yourself.

    Men – it’s best to get a woman to help you pick your pictures, as women are better at telling whether or not a picture is flattering (your mom is probably not the best choice for the job, though!).

If you’re looking for help choosing the right photo to go in your dating profile, I am now offering personal online dating advice, including a photo selection special.

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Radio Appearances & latest book news

I was on U105 in Belfast this Tuesday on the lunchtime show, which was cool. My mom listened in from Israel via their website and I was being interviewed from my bedroom in London (it’s the most quiet room in the house). I felt very 21st century.

We talked about the book, online dating safety, how it can help people’s love lives: all the usual stuff.

Next week I will be on a late morning show on BBC Radio Humberside on Tuesday and possibly on BBC Coventry & Warwickshire as well.

Things are slowly starting to pick up. The book is selling and seems to be picking up on Amazon. It’s all getting quite exciting 🙂

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The book is officially out!

Copies should be with the retailers within a week or so. The Amazon buying links on the right should actually work now 🙂
I am back from holiday and am trying to sort out things such as press releases and publicity.
Hopefully, things are about to get busy!

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Get in there!

The book is almost ready and one of the final touches is getting some incentives in to add value to the book. I’ve already got a couple of companies giving me some promo codes/coupons, but there’s room for a few more if you’re quick. If you’re looking for what is basically free exposure to a load of target demographic, talk to me. I’m mostly interested in UK companies, but would also accept foreign ones who have a good UK membership base.

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Is it really over?

Writing a book is like fighting the Terminator: just when you think it’s done and dusted, the thing rises up again for another round.

Editing, proofing, indexing, it just never ends. Whoever said writing for a living was easy? Oh yeah, no one.

I am pretty sure I am done working on it now. I went over and corrected the final proofs, I did the index (in MS Word and it wasn’t at all as difficult as I thought it would be) and sent everything off to the production company. My handwriting is pretty awful and I’d never done any proper proofing in my life, so I’m sure my scribbled notes in the wrong places are going to raise a few eyebrows. Hopefully I won’t be getting too many emails and phone calls about it, though, because as far as I’m concerned it’s done now and is ready to be released into the wild.
Obviously, this is just the beginning, because my PR person has told me there’s already a lot of interest in the book, but at least the actual production stage of it is over. It is over, right?

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The book is almost ready!

I got the proofs on Friday and have been slowly going through them all week. It’s a bit stressful, because I am on a tight deadline and between that and work and the holiday I am about to take, I have very little time to do anything else, like think or sleep. The illustrations look great and I am really happy with the text so far. I’ve made a few minor corrections, but mostly it’s just as I remembered it. It’s quite exciting to see it appear on all the various online book stores, even when I know it’s not actually “real” just yet. Roll on May!

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