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Clare Wood was killed by a man she met online. A tragic case, no doubts about it. Now Clare’s father and Hazel Blears MP are working to bring in a law that would make it possible for women to learn about their new partner’s history of domestic / relationship abuse. This is one of those proposals that appeals to the most primal of gut instincts – the Internet is a big scary place, women know nothing about who they meet, now they can find out. That is, by the way, what makes it a populist law. It’s not hard to see why Clare’s father would want to bring this law in, to supposedly stop other people’s daughters from becoming victims like his own.

But personally I believe more care should be taken before we open up people’s private police records to, well, the entire public. Now, I know the privacy implications of this law are pretty atrocious, but considering the fact that a woman was killed, I realise many would forsake the privacy of someone else (any man?) because they believe the safety of women comes first. To be fair, if I thought this was a workable solution, maybe I would tend to agree. If it went both ways, at least.

I don’t think the exact details of this proposal have been worked out yet but for now is no mention about whether men can find out the abuse history of women they meet online (domestic abuse by women of men may not be as common, but it certainly does exist and is a real problem). There is no mention of what violations would be enough to tarnish a man as an abuser.

But of course, there is also, as far as I can tell, no mention of the fact that many cases of domestic abuse remain unreported, thus unlisted in the police database. In fact, isn’t the nature of most domestic abuse that which only escalates to the police when the abused women get battered so badly, they can no longer hide it from those around them? With a bit of luck, a man can be dangerously abusive to a GF or spouse and still appear all squeaky clean on record. If this law comes into effect, such men could actually “benefit” from the new system – women would search, find nothing and conclude the man in question is absolutely fine, when otherwise they may have exercised more caution.

In many ways, this law is no different than match.com saying they’re going to background check members in the US. It’s not enough. Not only is it not enough, but it makes people think it is enough, thus making the situation worse. Short of sending the thoughtpolice to scan people’s brains and figure out if they’re prone to murderous thoughts, there is nothing you can do that’s foolproof. As always, it’s best to educate women (and men) to spot dangerous signs, rather than open the door to some really dangerous legalisation. After all, if we’ve got our hands in someone’s private data, wouldn’t we want to be sure he doesn’t have any drunk driving offences (dangerous for our future children), public order offences or drug problems?

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Not content with dominating the compatibility testing dating market, eHarmony.com have come up with a site that aims to compete with Match. This time, I think they mean it too, unlike their curiously bad launch campaign for “that gay serious relationship site” they were forced to create after a lawsuit.

Their credentials obviously speak for themselves, which may indeed encourage a lot of people to sign up and try the site (especially as this is now free for a while, as they want to get a critical mass of people going).

However, with so many dating sites out there using this formula and their company being known mostly for compatibility testing and serious relationship dating, there’s going to be some serious advertising and branding needed to get this site off the ground. Will it work?

Match is a major international brand name, so’s eHarmony. In the UK, Match have a lot of competition, but only DatingDirect.com comes close in terms of branding and style.
Perhaps the US is ready for another big brand dating site that isn’t a free for all. I’m looking forward to seeing the ad campaign.

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The fact that Parship, the dating site with the most comprehensive compatibility test, has a gay / lesbian offshoot may come as a surprise to you, especially if you live outside of the UK.

Well, now their gay dating site, gay-parship.com has gone international and is available in 9 (count them) different languages.

Check it out if you’re gay and looking for a serious relationship. The way this site handles things like communications and even viewing pictures is a bit different to most dating sites you’re likely to come across. Handy if you’re tired of the more meat-market sites.

If you’re not gay, you might want to give the straight Parship UK site a go. Or, if you’re in Ireland, you can try the local version for Dating in Ireland.

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Niche dating sites are all the rage nowadays, aimed at people who value certain aspects of their lives and want to start off their search for love by looking for people who share their interests and hobbies.

Usually it’s stuff like common religious grounds, lifestyle choices like vegetarianism, cycling or motorbiking, belonging to a certain subculture (goth, rockabilly and such) or being into photography, bird watching or whatever.

Now there is a site dedicated to fans of Apple, the company and its products. The new site, Cupidtino requires all its users to be owners of an Apple device and to be enamoured with it.

As far as I know, this is the first dating site of its kind – linking people not by hobbies, interests and lifestyles but by their consumer habits and love for a single commercial entity.

I guess you could argue that loving Apple products is a lifestyle choice and in many ways it is, but Apple is still a major commercial entity and the whole thing is therefore somewhat
Gibsonesque as far as I’m concerned.

I guess if people on the site are so into their Apple devices, they will really welcome a place where such fanboyism is welcomed and not ridiculed. I’m interested in seeing how many people find love on there.

You can read more about the new site here.

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US cheaters’ dating website, Ashley Madison is apparently going to expand to the UK market. I can’t wait to see the response their incredibly annoying ads will get in the UK. Apparently UK cheaters looking to have affairs can already register on the site, but there hasn’t been any marketing done yet in the UK.

For the record, I think cheating is a complex issue and you can’t (or shouldn’t) judge everyone who cheats and condemn them to hell. I find it sad, more than anything else. Sad that people can be so bad at communicating, they’d go behind people’s backs rather than be open about their own needs with themselves or each other. It’s also sad that in the 21st century there are still people trapped in loveless marriages without being able to legally or safely leave.

On the other hand, I’m not entirely keen on so-called “lifestyle cheaters” – people who knowingly choose to cheat on their spouses / partners because they enjoy the thrill of the forbidden. I’m certainly not keen on sites such as Ashley Madison that actively encourage people to cheat on their partners and then pocket the cash.

Still, I’d rather people who want to cheat go somewhere like that and leave the normal dating sites to actual singles.

What do you think? Will this site get a good reception in the UK? Will ads encouraging people to cheat go down well with the British public?

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The Australian consumer watchdog reports a rise of 30% in online dating related scams. Could it be because people in Australia are becoming more exposed to online dating and are throwing caution to the wind a little bit too much?

With online dating becoming more and more mainstream, there should be more information available about the potential dangers.
People often put their trust in their dating site, sometimes blindly, and no dating site likes to admit that some scammers may have gotten through.
Having worked as a moderator on a dating site I know how hard it is to catch everyone who’s up to no good. We were always aware of how important it is to catch these people before they fleece innocent daters and steal their money, but even with all the hard work we put in, sometimes these scammers managed to con people before we got to them.

Never assume the site you’re on is 100% safe. No site is. You need to arm yourself with information and learn how to spot a scammer, so you can avoid their nasty plots.

Now’s a good time as ever to brush up on your online dating safety knowledge. Here are some handy online dating safety tips from my book.

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The next episode of House will see the team going speed dating, with apparently hilarious results.

It’s always good to see trends becoming mainstream enough to be featured on top TV shows, isn’t it?

You can watch the trailer for the episode here

If you’re thinking of taking the plunge yourself, you can take a look at my reviews of speed dating and singles’ events companies.

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