This is your chance to get your profile checked out by someone who’s seen thousands and thousands of dating profiles and knows what works and what doesn’t.

Click here for more details.

Related posts:

1. Your dating profile: don’t assume prior knowledge
2. Writing a good personal description
3. Online Dating Blog Carnival - August 8, 2007

There are, however, a few sites particularly geared towards single parents, so if you are part of a single parent family, you may want to give these a go. People who date on these sites are either parents themselves or are open to the possibility of dating single parents, meaning you won’t have to worry about anyone being put off.

Dating for Parents.com

Probably the biggest UK single parent dating site, this site had a facelift last year which, frankly, is far from an improvement. Despite its lame appearance, the site is actually not bad and offers live chat as well as messaging. There are plenty of members here from all over the UK and there is a decent search function that lets you search by many odd factors (such as eye colour), though, as often is the case on dating sites, not by interests. This can be annoying, because the only thing you know you have in common with members on the site is the fact that you have kids. The site makes you complete your profile blurb before letting you search, which annoyed me as well, but if you’re just signing up for a free profile to check it out, you can get around this by typing gibberish into the boxes. Just remember to go back and change this to useful stuff if you decide to stay! The subscription rates are pretty standard for the UK - £19.99 for a month, though you can get a weekly subscription for £5.99 or a 4 day subscription by mobile phone for a fiver to try it out.

SingleParentsMingle.com

Officially an international dating site, but in reality only the USA (and maybe CA) are the ones best served by members and even there, some areas are distinctly low on members. It’s worth a try, even if you are in the UK (some members are on there) but wherever you are, make sure you use your free account to run a good search first, before you pay any subscription fees or you may be disappointed. The site offers many handy features, including basic two way matching, message boards and live chat. There is also a good search facility with keyword search. Overall, it is a well-designed site that charges the standard rates, so it’s just a matter of seeing whether your area is covered.

Kids No Object and Parents Already are two smaller, cheaper UK sites that are definitely worth a look. Parents Already is more professional-looking and, personally, I also find it more user-friendly. It charges £8.99 for 2 weeks or £16.95 for 3 months and offers additional features such as online chat and message boards. KNO charges £16.95 for 3 months, £29.95 for 6 months or £49.95 for a “no time limit membership” (conditions apply). It offers chat, message boards and a phone redirect service you can use to make safe phone calls.

Special issues

• Depending on your lifestyle, circumstances and personal preference, you may still want to choose a dating site that is not particularly geared towards single parents and simply specify you have kids. For example, dating on a niche site that caters for a particular lifestyle choice (such as vegetarianism, a particular religion, etc.) might offer you more matches based on what you find important. Casual dating sites can offer short-term dating options if you are not looking to settle down again, while marriage/serious dating sites can offer the opportunity to meet only people who are looking for long-term committment. Any of these may ultimately offer you more choice than limiting yourself to a parents-only site.
• Safety first: If you have small children, it’s more important than ever to follow the online dating safety rules and quickly get rid of anyone who displays any of the danger signs.

Related posts:

1. Online Dating Tips: Beware of feature madness
2. Dating site wishlist - your personal checklist
3. Casual online dating: flirting sites, casual dating sites

If you’re looking for love and have made it your resolution for this year, I wish you all the best. As this is a time of new beginnings, I thought I’d tackle the question so many people ask when considering whether to use online dating for the first time: does online dating work?

The quick answer is yes, it does. People all over the world meet and fall in love online all the time. Right now, somewhere, there are probably two people communicating on a dating site somewhere who will end up together. actually, there’s probably more than two people.

Unfortunately, there are also online dating horror stories and many people do find that online dating is not for them. The truth is, it’s not for everyone, though most people will get something out of it.

If you’re thinking of trying Internet dating - do. There is no other way to find out whether or not it’s your thing. Here are some things to keep in mind before you start:

1. Dating sites are not all the same.

Sure, there are some similarities, but there are also differences. Take the time to look at a few different sites before deciding which one to sign up with. Most sites will let you sign up for free so you can look around, so make use of that. Also, even sites that have exactly the same price structure or features can have dramatically different membership, so if one site fails to deliver people you find interesting, don’t be afraid of moving on.

2. You need to put some effort in if you want it to work.

Unless you upload a good photo and spend time working on your profile, you’re not likely to get anywhere. You will also need to spend time actually contacting people, speaking to them online and on the phone and then meeting up. The more you do it, the more likely you are to be successful.

3. It might take time.

Let’s face it, you’re not likely to meet the perfect person straight away. The higher your standards, the more likely you are to have to go through the motions quite a few times before meeting someone even remotely suitable. Online dating is now mainstream, though, so it’s not just freaks and losers who use dating sites anymore. If you find the right dating site and keep at it, you will find someone someone sooner or later, be it on or offline. If you’re looking to sign up to a dating site and are wondering how long a subscription to buy, you can take my online dating quiz to find out.

4. Beware of the scammers

There are some dodgy sites out there and some dodgy scammers who use dating sites to scam people out of money. I don’t want to put you off online dating, because all in all it’s a good thing, but do keep your wits about you. Watch out for people who ask you for money after meeting you online. Many of those will try to lure you away from the dating site ASAP so there is no record of their crime on the dating site and then hit you up with some sort of sob story. There are also sites out there that use fake profiles to lure people in, but that is an illegal practice, so if you stick with large, reputable sites, you should be fine.

Check out my article section for more tips on how to make online dating work for you.

If you want to flirt, send pictures and saucy emails, have webcam chats (also known as video/audio chats) and meet people just for having fun, without committing to a long term relationships, there are plenty of dating websites out there that cater for casual relationship online dating. Below is a list of some top sites that are frequented by those looking for “no strings fun”. You can scroll down for a table comparing their various features.

QuickFlirt.com

A huge UK dating site that was specifically designed to work well with mobile phones and to allow people to send each other lots of photos. It’s got a reputation for being a fun, cheeky place, but also has people on it who are looking for the “friendship first, then we’ll see” type of dating that could lead to more serious things. The site offers detailed search options and has members all over the UK, including some pretty remote places. Subscription rates are pretty standard but cheap options are availanle. You can also pay by mobile phone.

GirlsDateForFree.com
A UK site that offers, as the name suggests, 100% free dating for women. Men pay standard rates, and the site is one of the busiest sites in the UK.
The site does not market itself specifically as a flirting/casual dating site, but the “ladies’ night” concept has resulted in a highly popular site with a fast-paced atmosphere. People here are definitely after some action, though some also want more.
The site’s design is pretty simple without too many bells and whistles. It’s suitable for people who just want to get on with it without necessarily being Internet experts.

Lavalife.com
A big international flirting site that’s massive in the US, Canada and Australia. It’s designed for people looking for non-serious dating and has some cool features. My favourite is the fact that replying to messages is free, even if you’re not a paid member.

ClickAndFlirt.com
A UK-based international dating site that’s definitely on the saucy side of casual dating. You can specify what you’re after, but the options on offer make it obvious this is not exactly a marriage-oriented site. The site boasts huge membership and fun features like chatrooms and mobile dating. It’s well designed and simple to use and there’s plenty to do on here.

YouCanGetMe.com is a big UK dating site that’s geared towards audio/video dating. It’s generally flirty and cheeky rather than outright sexy, but prepare to find both on here, as well as the occasional people looking for something more serious. The site has a nice list of features, including live chat.

BeNaughty.com is a UK/US site from the same company as ClickAndFlirt that is even more geared towards casual sex dating. If you’re looking for the sexy stuff, this place is definitely for you, although they do allow you to specify how naughty you want to be and see only profiles without any nudity, if you so choose. The site is very well designed and packed full of features from video chat to sexy blogs. Mobile dating is on offer and there is even a money back guarantee for the 6 month membership option.

Features at a glance

Special issues to be aware of

• There is often a crossover between casual dating sites and those sites referred to as “adult dating sites”, but flirting sites are not always as overtly sexual as their raunchier counterparts. Most of them are just about having fun with new people without necessarily settling down. It’s basically online dating without the committment. It can even be a good way to get back into the habit of dating, even if you’d really like to find something longer term. Because of this, you will find that flirters/casual daters don’t always want the same thing. Some want to get back on their feet and try out the scene before finding a serious relationship, some want to meet up for dates, some are looking for shag buddies and others just want to flirt and chat online. Some casual daters can even be married or in a relationship but are looking for something on the side, be it virtual or actual. Some casual dating sites will let you specify exactly what you want so you can avoid meeting people who want something else.
• If you are one of those casual daters who are looking for activities outside of the Internet, you may well want to meet up pretty quickly, so it’s important (especially for women) to still keep to the online dating safety rules. Remember that even if you’re looking for a one night stand, it’s best to give yourself an escape route in case you meet up and don’t fancy each other (or worse - that you don’t fancy him/her but he/she fancies you!).
• Many flirting sites offer mobile phone dating, including the ability to send and receive pictures, pay for membership by SMS and even receive messages and alerts on your phone. This makes these sites particularly suitable for people who are more comfortable using their mobile than their computer.
• Subscription options for flirting sites are often varied and offer very short membership options too, so you can dip in and out of membership as you see fit.

Related posts:

1. Online Dating Tips: Beware of feature madness
2. Online dating for single parents
3. Online dating sites - they’re not all the same

By the way, If you’re looking for links to your sites to make Google love you, you should go and read up on Wordpress and “nofollow” before attempting to spam me or any other Wordpress bloggers. This blog uses nofollow on all user-submitted links. If you don’t know what that means, you should probably hire someone to do your link building for you. I recommend these people.

Basically, unless you have something useful to contribute to the discussion, please take your spam elsewhere. I want to keep my comments for people who actually have relevant things to say or questions to ask.

Thank you and good night.

Related posts:

1. Social networking Vs dating sites

Related posts:

1. Dating site wishlist - your personal checklist

Dating sites always advertise themselves as the way to find the right person for you and encourage you to keep dating on the site and meeting new people. But in reality, many people who date on dating sites end up finding someone in completely different ways, once they’ve been dating online for a while. In many cases, it is the online dating experience that made this possible, albeit indirectly.

Why is this? In the online dating company I used to work for, the saying went that online dating builds confidence - you go on a bunch of dates, you get used to talking to people again, maybe see that the people you meet are not right for you (which makes you begin to see your self-worth) and then, thus encouraged, gather up the courage to go and chat up someone you like at a pub or a party.

Personally, I think there are other reasons as well. I’ve long thought that if you want to meet the right person, you need to have a clear image in your head of what the right person is like. Online dating forces you to start thinking *exactly* about what you want in your perfect man or woman: more so than any other form of dating. More often than not, we don’t know what we want until presented with something we don’t want. Other times, we’ll meet someone who’s obviously wrong for us, but has some qualities that fit in with our ideal profile.

Another thing online dating does is it forces you to look at yourself differently and highlight all the parts of your life you might want to change. Nothing does this better than being faced with the prospect of writing about yourself in a profile you’d use to basically market yourself to others. Once you do, you may well decide to change things in your life and become generally happier with yourself - often a prequisite to successful dating.

Why is this good news? Because it shows that even if you don’t look at online dating as your one and only chance at finding love, the personal journey you take while trying it will teach you a lot about yourself and what you want to get out of life and out of a relationship. Even if you don’t actually meet the right person for you on an online dating site, you’ll still have gained some valuable things from the experience and be in a better position to find what you’re looking for.

Related posts:

1. What we can learn from social networking sites
2. Is online dating killing romance? Going beyond dating sites
3. Casual online dating: flirting sites, casual dating sites

Here’s a checklist of things you should look out for. Good dating sites will offer you all these and more.

1. Free registration

You should be able to sign up, run a reasonably detailed search and add a profile and a picture without ever putting in your credit card details. Most sites will let you do this. This is important, as you want to know what the site is like and whether you like the looks of it (and the people who hang out there) before you shell out any money. Usually, a site that tries to make you pay before you can look at any photos isn’t worth signing up to, as it’s probably dodgy. Limiting the amount of pics you can see is pretty standard, though, as is wanting money for messaging/chatting.

There is a growing trend among the more expensive,respectable compatibility testing sites of refusing to show you photos of your matches before you pay. Parship started it and I’ve now seen it done by DatingDirect Affinity

While these sites are not actually shady or dodgy, I still find this unsuitable, as I don’t trust any matching software more than I trust my own eyes. These sites claim that doing this stops their members from pre-judging each other based on their looks and helps the matching process, so it’s up to you if you want to play (and pay) along.

2. A clear, flexible payment structure

It’s good to have options, so most good sites will give you a choice of subscription, ranging from one month (or sometimes less) to 6 months or even a year. Expect to see a discounted price per month if you take up a longer subscription.

3. Ease of use

What’s easy will depend on how Internet-savvy you are. If you’re new to the net, you’ll want a no-frills site that makes it easy to search and message people without too many weird distractions. If you’re a bit of a veteran, this might be less of an issue. The key thing here is that you like the looks of the site and understand how to use the features you want to use.

4. The essential features designed well - searching and messaging

Gimmicks aside, all you really need out of a dating site is to be able to find people and then communicate with these people. Everything else is a bonus. Extra features are handy and often useful, but I’ve seen many people happily choose a simpler site with nice people on it over feature-rich sites whose members they didn’t like so much. Make sure these basics are covered before being blinded by promises of anything else.

The search function should be detailed and should allow you to search by what’s important to you, be it ethnicity, religion, interests, etc. Messaging should be straightforward and simple to use, as well as quick. If you prefer your online chat to be done via the site and not external things such as MSN Messenger, you’ll also want a chat function, otherwise, being able to make initial contact and exchange details is more than enough.

5. Fellow members who seem like people you’d actually like to hang out with

You don’t have to want to actually date everyone you see when you run a search, but have a look and see if any of them are “your kind of people”. If enough of them are, even if you don’t fancy them, chances are you’re on the right site and hopefully someone will come along soon.

6. Good help/support, especially if you’re new

You should have someone to talk to if you need help with using the site, even if it’s by email. Many dating sites are run by small team or even just one person, so you might not be able to speak to anyone on the phone, but it’s nice to get an email or a message if you have a problem. The bigger sites have dedicated team working for them that help people with technical/payment issues. Some sites nowadays actually do date coaching too.

7. Some profile moderation

It’s good to know someone out there is looking out for you and weeding out the scammers and the freaks. Most pay sites will have a team who monitor the site and remove profiles put up by such nasties. The better sites will have these people linked to the support team, so if you have any doubts about whether someone you met online is trying to scam you, you’d be able to contact the support team and ask for advice.

Related posts:

1. The best online dating site
2. Online dating for single parents

20% off any Match.com subscription

The match.com discount code is apparently valid for a limited time only, so if you want your discount - grab it before they switch it off.

If you’re looking for UK match.com offers or match.com free trials for both UK/USA then read my other post instead.

Related posts:

1. Lavalife Discount Coupon Code
2. Match.com - Free 72 hour trial
3. An even better offer from Match.com

Here are some handy tips to help you save money while looking for Mr or Mrs right (or right now) on the Internet.

1. Free dating sites

Free dating sites have spiked in popularity recently, but it’s important to note that not all sites that describe themselves as free are actually free. Most dating sites allow some form of free registration, so you can run some searches, maybe complete a personality profile and generally have a look around and see what sort of members hang out on the site. To actually contact anyone, you will need to pay. Many sites hide that fact until you’re ready to make contact and then front you with the bill. Ouch.

Most people nowadays expect this sort of tactic when searching for a free site, but there are, however, some dating sites that are completely free. Some of them are actually not bad, although to be honest, all free dating sites are by nature more prone to problems like spammers, scammers, timewasters and freaks than their paid counterparts. Be sure to pay close attention to online dating safety tips when using free dating sites (though, really, you should be doing that anyway!).

The most popular 100% free dating sites are without doubt:

Plentyoffish


Supposedly the world’s biggest free dating site and huge all over the world, this site is definitely more about quantity than quality. Don’t expect profiles to be moderated here, so you’re on your own when it comes to weeding out the unsavoury characters. The site now offers basic compatibility matching and you can refine your search by religion, ethnicity, etc. as well as the type of dating you’re looking for (from marriage to flirting and purely sexual encounters). The site is straightforward and easy to use, with a simple, functional design. If you’re new to online dating and are looking for a no-frills, straight to the point site, it’s worth having a look around this site, although discerning daters may well be disappointed with the majority of the people they find there.

The site is suitable for straight, gay and bisexual daters.

OKCupid

A hugely successful international dating site that’s known for its unique compatibility matching system and for having an incredible amount of user-submitted questions and quizzes. This is online dating for the Myspace/Facebook generation, which is really like a cross between a social networking site and a dating site.

There’s plenty of stuff to do and you could easily spend weeks exploring the site without actually speaking to anyone. Personally, I find the design a bit overly busy and it can get a bit confusing if you’re not a social media addict. It’s worth giving it a try if you’re curious, though, as , after all, it is 100% free.

If the busyness of the design and the large amount of features doesn’t scare you, it’s worth going through their compatibility test as it’s one of the best in the business (it’s better than most tests I’ve seen on paid sites, in fact). Get ready to answer hundreds of questions though, before you start seeing good results.
The site caters for straight, gay and bisexual daters and allows you to refine your search by religion, ethnicity and relationship type, as well as many other factors. The site is far from scammer/spammer free, but most of those don’t have the patience to complete the lengthy matching process, so if you do, you won’t see much of them anymore.

A site worth checking if you’re a woman in the UK is GirlsDateForFree.
It’s free for women but not for men and so is actually moderated (although, as always, not perfectly). It’s got a very simple and easy to use design and is suitable for those new to online dating and the Internet in general. It also has a bit of a reputation of being a rather flirty place where people come to look for casual dating and have fun, although many people fall in love on there and go on to forming long-term relationships and even marriages (I know this, because a few years back it was my job to read the thank you emails!)

I’ve also heard some good things about Smooch.com, although I’ve not had a chance to test it yet.

2. No credit? No problem!

It can be hard to sign up to a paid dating site if you don’t have a credit or debit card, and credit cards are harder to come by nowadays. Luckily, some dating sites (at least in the UK) will let you sign up via mobile phone, meaning you don’t even need a bank account to sign up. All you need is a pay as you go mobile and some phone credit, which you can buy with cash almost anywhere. Look out for sites that offer mobile billing like Quickflirt.com


Many sites also allow you to pay by cheque, including some of the major ones like DatingDirect and
Loopylove.com.


3. Discounts and free trials

The pay sites are feeling the crunch and are constantly offering special discounts and free trials. Most are time limited, so if you hear of one, make use of it quickly, before it disappeares!

Free trials are a handy way of trying all the features on a site and making contact with new people, but if you’re thinking of using the free trial to avoid paying altogether - give it up. Attempting to contact everyone you fancy within 3 days or a week and letting them know you’ll be disappearing afterwards will only make you look cheap. People might be a bit more understanding because of the credit crunch, but ultimately, a dating site offers people a certain element of anonymity and protection, so they’d need a damn good reason to give that up. Saving you money is not likely to count as a good reason.

Use the free trial instead to get a real feel of a site before you decide on whether to spend your money. Message some people and see if you get any responses, see if you like what they say. Try the formerly restricted features to see if they are worth your money, etc.
Remember that some free trials will automatically roll over into full membership, so make sure you know when that’s going to happen, if you don’t like the site and want to leave.

Here is a list of some free trial offers currently available. I update this list regularly:

UK: Free 72 hour trial on Match.com

USA/CA:
Free 72 hour trial on Match.com

Lavalife.com: 7 Days free trial
- - (some UK/Australian/International memership available).

Some sites (like eharmony.com (USA/CA)
and eHarmony UK) Don’t always advertise the free trial, but let you sign up for a month’s membership and then cancel within a certain number of days and get your money back,which is effectively the same as the rest of the free trials. This process is not always straightforward though.

Discounts are a brilliant way of saving money on membership fees you’d be paying anyway and there’s quite a few about. Here’s a list of some:

UK

DatingDirect
have a 1 month for a fiver offer on t the moment. You’ll need to register as a free member and hope you receive the offer. It runs until 31/12.

USA/CA

15% off any Lavalife subscription Use Coupon Code 780121.


20% Discount Match.com
- (offer only valid in USA/CA)

Watch this space for more or just search the net for your favourite dating site plus “discount” or “coupon”.


4. The cheaper option

Hunt around for cheaper sites that offer the same features you’d normally pay more for.

Compatibility matching (personality testing), for example, is usually an expensive feature that warrants higher subscription fees. However, certain forms of these are available both for free (see above) or at the standard membership rate without having to shell out extra cash.
In the UK, the following sites offer compatibility matching and personality tests as part of their standard membership package:
Match.com
DatingDirect
Loopylove.com

Unless you’re sold on a particular site (like eHarmony) and trust it above all others when it comes to matching, you’re better off going cheap. It’s highly debatable whether you should rely on such personality tests to find your true love in the first place, but that’s an entirely different matter.

5. Money back guarantees

Some sites offer you a money back guarantee, usually if you sign up for a 6 month membership or higher. Sometimes you get your money back or you could get a membership extension instead. These offers come with plenty of terms and conditions, namely, you have to be seen to be actively looking on the site - upload a picture and a full profile, message plenty of people throughout the whole period, etc.

Match.com (UK)

offer their much publicised “make love happen! ™” guarantee. To qualify, you need to take out a 6 month subscription and, if you are actively looking and don’t find anyone in that time, they will extend your membership for an additional 6 months.

DatingDirect
offer a 12 month money back guarantee which is much less publicised, but will actually give you your money back (not free membership) if you search for a year and find no one you like.

6. Get someone else to pay for it

Some sites out there will let other people buy you a gift subscription (also sometimes known as gift membership). Often, this can be done if you’re already a member. Usually, men buy membership for women, although the opposite does sometimes happens (or does it?) You’ll probably need to pay first and then charm someone into buying you membership so you could reply to their messages. Unethical? Perhaps, but if you’re broke and can’t afford to use the site any other way after the first month or so, it might be worth a go. There are also sites where members can pay extra to have their messages read/replied to by non-subscribers. See Benaughty.com for an example of this.

Some sites out there cater for gift subscriptions to start from scratch, i.e. if you want to buy someone you know a present and get them set up with a dating site. My favourite one of those is My Single Friend.
This is a site that lets people set up their single friends/family members they think are tragically, rather than happily single. It’s perfectly set up to allow for other people to pay for you and even write most of your profile for you. It’s also a rather good dating site in general.

7. Saving money once you’re meeting and dating

Surveys conducted recently show that people are getting a bit more creative with their dating choices because of the credit crunch and replacing posh restaurants with cheaper ones and the likes. It’s good to find cheaper alternatives to common dinner and a movie scenarios but beware of choosing to go round someone’s house rather than meet in a public place for your first date - your safety must always come first.

In the UK, pubs are still the favoured place for the dreaded first date and these easily lend themselves to credit crunching times. Cafes are also good, especially those that let you sit around for hours with a single drink and get to know each other. You don’t really need much else if you want to just find out whether you click with someone.

Another good money saving trick is to use free software like Skype
instead of using the phone. You can use it to call other Skype users on their computer for free or landlines (all over the world) for a small fee, although it’s not particularly good for calling mobiles. You can also use it to avoid giving out your real number, as explained already in this blog.

8. And last but not least, watch out for those pesky recurring charges!

Now is not the time to be spending money on something you don’t want, so if you don’t want your dating site subscription anymore, remember to cancel it with plenty of time to spare. Most sites will automatically bill you again at the end of your membership period unless you tell them not to, so be warned!

Related posts:

1. Match.com - Free 72 hour trial
2. Online Dating Tips: Beware of feature madness
3. An even better offer from Match.com