Online dating profile advice – good or bad?

July 11th, 2010

Well well well, it seems that online dating profile advice such as the kind I offer on this blog has finally made the BBC news headlines.

They have an article talking about the industry of helping people with their profiles and asking whether it’s good or bad, i.e. whether it’s a legitimate thing for people to want to do or whether it’s fraud.

I have mixed feelings about this industry. When I offer online dating profile advice, I don’t generally write the profile for clients using random information I think would make them look good. I do believe that if you just give information to someone and have them write everything for you from scratch without you having hardly any input then it’s a bit dishonest. Instead, I work with my clients to make sure their real personality is showing.

Sure, this does not involve writing about any negative traits the client might have, but then again, my book also advises people not to write about these things in their profile when writing them without any external help. It’s simply common sense. You wouldn’t write a CV telling your potential bosses that you have a habit of always being late, would you?

I’ve found that while online dating is great in so many ways it does require a certain skill in written expression in order to make your personality shine through. I’ve met a lot of people who are perfectly gregarious in person but find it difficult to connect to the online medium and write a winning profile. Helping them to bring out their personality online is no more “fraud” in my opinion than having professional help with writing a CV if you’ve never done it before.

When I help clients with their profile I aim to give them the tools to express themselves in the profile in a way that would do them justice, rather than create a false persona for them to lure in their “catch”. I tend to ask a lot of questions and get people answering them and then help them pick and choose the best parts to turn into a profile.

Even when doing phone interviews with people I aim to capture their own way of expressing themselves so I can turn that into a profile. What I have found is that most of my clients are actually very good at expressing
themselves online but need a few pointers and tips to make their profiles stand out even more (or tips on better websites for them to try).

I like to think that with these pointers most people can learn to understand the online medium and can then go on to continue developing their profile if they need to without needing any more specific help.

Have you ever used a service such as the one I offer here? Or are you bothered by the concept?

(You can read the full BBC article here)

Related posts:

1. Online dating profile tips
2. Online dating profile: don’t assume prior knowledge
3. Online dating profile cliches
4. Online dating advice recap
5. Online Dating Profile: keep it friendly

Entry Filed under: Industry stuff