5 things you need to get over if you want to find love online

October 19th, 2009

If you want to get anywhere with online dating, there are a few things you will need to get over. Finding love online is a lot easier if you allow yourself to use all the resources at your disposal. Here are 5 common difficulties you will need to overcome in order to get the most out of your dating experience.

1. The fear of putting your dating profile out there

If you are generally a private person or have a job where you need to exert some form of authority, you may well not like the thought of your dating profile being out on the Internet, where anyone can find it and read it. This is something you will simply need to deal with. In the majority of cases, the only people who would be able to see your dating profile are people who are also dating on the same site you use. If you’re all in the same boat, then you have nothing to worry about, right?

Be aware, though, that some dating sites do let the search engines index their users’ profiles. If you have a very unusual name or use an uncommon phrase in your profile someone might search on, your profile may appear in people’s searches. To see if your dating site does this, put the site’s name into Google, together with a very common first name like “John”. Then start looking at the results. If dating profiles show up, it means yours could as well. If that bothers you – use another site.

2. Feeling ripped off by having to “pay for love”

Nobody likes paying for stuff that should be free, especially with the current financial climate. However, running a good dating site is a full time job for a lot of people and the money needs to come for somewhere. Even free sites get their money by shoving advertising in your face, so you end up paying in some way even if you go for a free site.
Sure, some sites seriously take the piss and charge way too much, but that isn’t to say all dating sites that charge you money are out to seriously rip you off. Accept the fact that you may have to pay some money for quality and do your research, so that you feel you’re getting your money’s worth in terms of service and features.

3. Being embarrassed about getting a second opinion about your profile / photos

Showing your dating profile and photos to your friends can be embarrassing, but getting a second opinion from people of the opposite sex can make all the difference to the results you get online. If at all possible, do share. What you learn about the way other people see you can be quite illuminating and useful.
If you don’t know any suitable people who can take a look at your profile, you can always ask me!

4. Feeling embarrassed about getting a second opinion about potential dates

If your friends are in any way supportive (and if they’re not, why are they still your friends?) it won’t hurt to ask them to help you vet your potential dates if you are unsure. They may be able to see things you can’t, especially if you have a history of going for losers or turning down potential gems. If your friends are any good, they’ll be happy to help you find someone!

5. Being “too cool” to let people know when you go on your first date with someone you met on the Internet

Yes, nobody likes feeling like a teenager checking in with mom, but this is a good habit to get into, especially for women. You can choose how safe you want to play it. Even simply mentioning to a friend that you will be going on a date with a stranger is better than nothing. Some people actually arrange for a friend to call you and see if everything is OK at some point during the evening. This may seem excessive 99.9% of the time, but wouldn’t it be a lifesaver in that all-important 0.01%?

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Entry Filed under: Online Dating Tips