Dating profile: faking it won’t make it
November 12th, 2009
A strange thing happened to me the other night. I was on a bus going home late at night and got chatting to a couple of young guys who had started talking to me.
As it happens, one of the guys was having a relationship dilemma and I ended up giving him some dating advice. I won’t get into specifics, but the situation involved a new relationship and some recent baggage that could potentially get in the way of things working out.
This has got me thinking. when I give dating profile advice, my role is to help my clients present themselves in the best way online. Although I do try to explain my commentary in a way that would make it clear why some things are not right for a profile, it is not my role to provide psychological therapy or counselling.
For people who learn about the makings of a good profile from a book or online, there is even less online dating support when it comes to taking things beyond the profile.
The truth is, with the right advice and support it’s not very difficult at all to come up with a profile that portrays you as someone most men or women would want to date. But if all those things you take out of the profile were originally put there because of your state of mind, baggage, fears or bitterness, then the thin screen provided by the profile won’t be enough to carry you through the whole dating process.
So take the advice, take out anything that doesn’t fit in with your “dateable” persona, but before you put each one in the bin, take a good look at it and think about what made you include it in the first place. Perhaps there are things you need to address in your life so you can make online dating and dating in general really work out for you.
Related posts:
- Online Dating Profile: keep it friendly
- Online dating profile advice – good or bad?
- Online dating profile tips
- Is it OK for women to hit on men?
- Choosing a photo for your online dating profile
Entry Filed under: Online Dating Tips
2 Comments Add your own
1. April Braswell | November 16th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Hi Shimrit,
indeed, I’m giggling, your online dating profile creation reminds me of the issue of “Truth In Advertising.” Just “appearing” datable and yet not including your own genuineness, it sorta feel fakey or something like that, doesn’t it?
I like your dating blog. This is cool.
Cheers,
April Braswell
2. Sebastyne | November 25th, 2009 at 12:41 am
When I tell people what to include to the profile, I tell them to be genuine. I tell them that they do not need to attract the AVERAGE person, or MASSES; they only need to attract ONE person, who just happens to be the right one. You won’t find the right person if you try to hide “unpopular” facts about yourself, because those things will surface sooner or later and then you’ll just look like a dick. It’s far wiser to be obviously wrong to a 100 but for that one person, look like someone they can relate to and like someone they can be themselves with without hiding their own flaws.
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