Are you setting your standards too high?
June 26th, 2007
When meeting people in real life, it’s possible to be wowed by a person, even though on paper he or she would have looked not quite right for us.
Online, on the other hand, we often only meet people based on a very specific set of characteristics.
A woman might think she is only interested in meeting men 6′ tall or taller, but if she ran into a 5’11″ man at a bar, she might not even notice.
A man may think he only wants to meet a woman under the age of 35, but what if the perfect 36 year old came along?
I don’t know a single person who never deviated from his or her supposed ideal at least once. The fact is, when the right person comes along, you can suddenly realise that the things that really matter to you are totally different from those you thought mattered.
Unfortunately, the limitations of the online dating world mean that you could easily become a slave of your limiting ideal, to the point where you are completely blocked to the possibility of meeting anyone else.
Obviously, there is no harm in starting your search by looking for your absolute ideal, but be aware of the limitations as you search. If your net doesn’t bring up enough potentials, expand your search and do your vetting in person rather than online. At the very worst, you will come out having learned even more about yourself and your needs.
Related posts:
- What dating sites don’t tell you #1
- To lie or not to lie
- There’s no room for wall flowers in online dating
- Online dating profile tips
- Rising standards
Entry Filed under: Online Dating Tips
1 Comment Add your own
1. jay | August 16th, 2011 at 10:26 pm
I believe it’s all about being realistic.
If you are a woman making $100,000 annually and have everything you want, and meet a man that makes $25,000 annually and your both good people, and enjoy each others company…so be it.
That’s what it’s all about … enjoying the damn ride. Not what people think, not how much you earn, and certainly not your status or lack thereof.
I mean afterall, you can’t take any of your material posessions with you when you go…
It should be all about happiness. I honestly feel sad for people that lose track of this.
Life is short. If you want to have your standards so high that you jeopardize happiness with someone, its your call.
I’m willing to bet as your age goes up, you will have a better concept of what truly is important in life.
When your laying on your death bed, what do you think will be on your mind?
Most would say their families and how happy they are for having such a great ride…
Others would probably be miserable with no family around, with only their hard earned money to leave behind to a non-profit organization.
But hey, at least they didn’t settle for less than perfect in a mate.
The whole “I’m a rocket scientist so she has to be a rocket scientist is BS”
If we all lived for 500 years it would be one thing. No it’s more like an average of 73.
If you make each other laugh, and you are attracted to each other, it’s a start.
Everything else is a moot point.
My advice would be to say “What would my grandparents tell me about this?”
If elderly people have anything, its experience in life.
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