How to spot an online dating scammer

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The big online dating “season” is just starting, which makes this a good time to talk about online dating scammers.

I get a lot of people asking me how to spot a scammer online and the truth is, spotting a scammer is at once very difficult and very easy.

Back when I used to work as a moderator, it was my job to spot scammers before they even got a chance to try and scam someone by looking at their profiles, and sometimes the messages they tried to send. Some scammers are easy to spot like that.

They’d be dating on a site set up to accept only people in the UK, but their profile would say they were in Africa (so how did they get the number of a UK credit card, the only type of card they could use to sign up?)

Their pictures would be obviously posed pictures taken in a studio of very attractive women or pictures blatantly scanned from a magazine (grain showing).

Their profiles would be a collection of adjectives (“I’m happy, loving, caring…”) that were sometimes pretty bizarre and obviously taken from a dictionary without being fully understood.

Some would go on about being “God fearing” and ask for money straight away, or even try the Nigerian money scam in their first message!

So yes, these scammers are easy to spot before they even make a move, but obviously not all scammers are that obvious and stupid. Today’s scammers are often far more adept at being indistinguishable from decent people, until they make their move.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that once they make their move, scammers are really easy to spot. This is because scammers want your money, so sooner or later they will make some excuse and ask for money. Sometimes they will work you for a while – weeks or even months – before asking for money, but sooner or later they will. Usually without ever having met you in person.

Unfortunately, by that point, their would be victim is already emotionally invested in the situation, which makes it harder to come to terms with the fact that you’re dealing with a scammer. This is why it’s important to remember that if someone asks you for money so early on, it’s a bad idea, regardless of whether or not they are a professional, known scammer. The best thing to do is refuse and move on.

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81 thoughts to “How to spot an online dating scammer”

  1. I met a guy on that I connected with in October. Never met in person. He said he had to go to Iraq for the US Defense department and would be back in 10 days. Sent me flowers and really connected. After supposedly being in Iraq, he told me it was dangerous and he wanted to come home…non military…Wanted me to open and account and give him full access to transfer money to. I refused and did not hear from him for a month. When he reappeared, he said he had been abducted. Now he needs money to get to Dubai from Karachi if I could send just $200USD to be picked up in the UK. I have been leading him to believe I would do so to see how far he will go. There are many more details, but thought you would like to hear this part of the story!

  2. I have met a guy on friends reunited dating about a month ago and he is out in Afgan at the moment. We have corresponded a lot and i can feel myself falling for him, he hasn’t asked me for any money but he keeps saying if i really want to meet him all i have to do is contact his general and ask him if he can have some leave….i don’t know if this is a scam or not but reading all this if it is then he will ask me for some money….
    If anyone has heard of this please help!

  3. Yep. I have just ‘finished’ a ‘relationship’ (ha ha) with a man I ‘met’ on a free dating site. He spent weeks telling me he loved me, and wanted to be my wife. He looked gorgeous, and phoned me several times. He eventually asked for several thousand pounds to pay for a ‘liberty pass’ … and used every reason/manipulation to get me to send the money. When I said ‘no’ he got very annoyed.

  4. Hi I am from Australia and having read all the scams that are being generated at the moment seems so sad. People do need friendship and companionship, which makes it even more sad.

    I have had a so called Bank try and scam me saying I had won in the briish tobacco lottery 10million pounds, but worked it out immediatley, I had worked as a Personnal assistant to barristers and managers, and there is now way that formal letters would be written in that form. Have contacted authorities, we will see what happens

    I have an american soldier well thats what he says, when I mentioned GI to him he actually asked waht that meant, scammer yes I think so he has not asked for money yet. Plus MyDear is usually used by nigerians etc One must be very careful, pity because people like these give dating sites a bad reputation Everyone has a story, I am recently widowed so it would have been easy for me to fll into a trap, but I am a trained professional, and this has helped.

    Please to you all

  5. Hi I am from Australia and having read all the scams that are being generated at the moment seems so sad. People do need friendship and companionship, which makes it even more sad.

    I have had a so called Bank try and scam me saying I had won in the briish tobacco lottery 10million pounds, but worked it out immediatley, I had worked as a Personnal assistant to barristers and managers, and there is now way that formal letters would be written in that form. Have contacted authorities, we will see what happens

    I have an american soldier well thats what he says, when I mentioned GI to him he actually asked waht that meant, scammer yes I think so he has not asked for money yet. Plus MyDear is usually used by nigerians etc One must be very careful, pity because people like these give dating sites a bad reputation Everyone has a story, I am recently widowed so it would have been easy for me to fll into a trap, but I am a trained professional, and this has helped.


    regards to you all Laura (Bella) Bonaddio

  6. Hi, I am English and I too have just had a near miss with a scam. Who ever he/she is they are really good. I was talking to this man for 2 months, he said he was an American soldier serving in Iraq, helping to rebuild working in logostics. I am not easily fooled, but I was totally taken him by him, he even spoke to my son telling him how much he loved me and that he would never hurt me. Then out of the blue, he said he was sending his luggage home and it was stopped by the diplomatic service and that he needed me to send him £5000.00 and then said, honey you know I will be home soon it is just a loan. Right you can imagine how I felt. All you ladies be careful these people are very clever and believable.

  7. The stories I have read are so similar to my story. I met this guy off of (mate one) dating site never been on a dating site in my life so I gave it a try the guy used the name of Jason Valderama he claim that he was australian and hispanic he even had an australian accent all of his pictures was this hispanic man with the us army logo and his last name printed Valderama on his left chest, I also had some pictures of his little girl who look just like him and his supposely decease wife and other family members.he told me that he was a Sgt. in Afghanistan, me not knowing how the system works I wanted to speak to him so he told me I had to contact a email address communicationc@aol so whoever it was they told me that in order to speak with this phony Sgt. I had to pay 220usd. so yes I admit I paid and I became suspicious so I email him and ask I him what was going on he call me and he was angry and accused me for such accusations when he called the I could’nt hardly hear him the connection was bad. I did’nt hear from him until wks later, so we chatted, to make the long story short he sent me tulips, one day I emailed him and I have gotten a message from his so call sgt friend tim simmons stating that he was shot in the left arm what became odd Jason contacted me several days later saying that he was fine from a gun shot wound are you kidding me, he start saying that he was scared and he wanted to come home so he ask me to send an email to vacation to request for him to leave so they email me back sayn that I had to filled out a form and also pay for a liberty pass,red flags start to flare and I knew it was a scam, the weridiest thing he still have some of his photos up on facebook and other websites

  8. My comment is the same as Rika Wood – the exact same thing happened to me – word for word as she described, same name and all. I got took for $2500+ I cant believe these scum -they sure know how to work the system, say all the right things, play on your emotions. I dont know what to tell anyone to protect them in the future other than if they ask for money, it is surely a scam. I am a professional, well educated person, and a good judge of character. Obviously i was wrong. I feel so stupid for falling for it. I should have know better. I hope Jason Valderama or whatever the heck his name is, and all the people like him rot in hell.

  9. I am looking for an Internet Online Dating Scammer named Ron Berryhill. Has anyone ever heard of this man? Trying to convince my mother that this is a huge scam and need help. Any advice or if you have heard of this man please let me know!

  10. Im so glad I found this site as I was very nearly scammed also by so called jason sounds like he sent me the same pics to. what a low life scum bag..

  11. this acclaim us sergent eddie butierrez
    this soldier claim is from us and scam me of about 10000usd …people be cause of him…he is very smart

  12. I had a Iraq soldier named Garrett Witt.I had a picture of him wearing a uniform with his name.After 1 month chatting daily with him,he asked to buy a computer for his daughter who is in America.I refused but I felt the biggest idiot in the world as i feel in love.I am a well educate and travelled person,so anyone is safe of this.They tell you what you want to hear.They are clever and offer you the world of love.NEVER SEND MONEY TO SOMEONE WHO YOU HAVE NEVER MET

  13. I met someone on a mate1. He immediately wanted to know if I had yahoo chat. I suspected him right away but went along to see what he would do. His said his name was Tom Berrera, but on yahoo it is Tommy Willaims. He said he was in the Army and was stationed in Iraq. He sent pictures of him in a marine uniform…duh! Later on he asked if he could call me and I told him no. So he told me that he could have me call him. He gave me the following address.
    I checked it out because I have heard of so many types of scams and sure enough I found out it was a scam.
    This is a way of him asking for money.
    Please be careful. Don’t ever fall for someone who professes his love for you before you even meet him

  14. Anyone come across Chris Graham….aka everybodylovechris….on

    A US SGT in Iraq, so he says. Wants to open a line of communication at a large cost?? Says he is widowed and his ‘maid’ looks after his son back in UK.

    He won’t be getting money from me, besides I have none.

  15. Has anyone heard of Chris Graham, aka everybodylovechris, on smooch?

    Claims to be widowed and in Iraq. Has a son in UK being looked after by his’maid’.

    Wants to open a line of communication at a large cost. Asks to email……. lt John Carson, to get permission.

    He won’t be opening it with me, I have no money, but it must be a scam, BEWARE!!!

  16. Eddie Butierrez. I was contacted by this person. Is he real? He was mentioned in this site. Can I have more information please?

  17. hada guy talk to me for 3 weeks james mc bride says in kabul and wanted me to send him some money to help his private buisness of buy oil said the most womderfull loving things can see how easy to get taken but i wasnt

  18. chris grahmae sound much like james mc bride he sais if i wanted to talk to him in kabul had to fet special phone line set up and i would have to pay i got wise the

  19. Had about six messages from this guy called Carlos Amando uses the address sgtccarlosamando @ hotmail, he too said he was a soldier in Afghanistan, I started to get suspicious when he asked for my mobile number. I entered his name into google and found this site and the scam. I contacted him on msn and asked if he had access to a webcam and haven’t heard from him since.

  20. i have been talking to james mcbride he is a nigerian con man he also asked me for money for his private timber firm but i sorry to say i was coned into sending him money


  22. I met a ‘US soldier’ based in Afghan thru Cupid dating site..his name is Williams Smith, I think he was also on Nightcafe! He is still intouch with me but has now said that he will not have internet access to chat with me from next week so suggested I contact him there thru MMNC…Mobile Military Network Communications but at a cost of 750.00$, this week I have had two e-mails supposedly from this site but there is no letter head address or contact details. Unfortunately I have already given my name and address to this ‘so called’ soldier and hope nothing will happen with the details ive given!
    AS ive said i dont believe the site he is now asking me to contact the site and request leave to arrange our marriage! Its so sad as they are really convincing with the e-mails and words!
    I reported this man to Cupid admin who advised his profile was closed as he had breached rules!! Lookks like yet another scammer!

  23. INCIDENTALLY…I have also given this guy…Williams Smith my mobile phone number, and address… can anyone advise me if there will be any repercussions towards me or can this scammer use this info for their own benefit?

  24. Victoria: I don’t think there is much he can do with just your address and mobile phone number, but just to be sure, I’d be on the look out for anything suspicious in the near future.

    I would suggest checking for more information. They also have a helpline you can call.

    Some banks also offer some sort of “identity theft watch” service, but I’ve never actually tried it myself.

  25. Hi

    Anyone heard of Command Sergeant Stephen Miller out of Ghana? My mum is currently in contact with him and has sent him money.

    With every fibre of my being I know that this is a scam but need to get lots of evidence together before I can go to her or she just won’t believe it.

    This is the first “relationship” that she has had since my dad died 12 years ago and I can’t believe that she has fallen for this scumbag.

  26. Bluedolly: I’m sorry to be saying this, but it sounds like you already know the answer yourself. The fact that this guy has asked for and received money from your mother is the telltale sign. Also, sad to say, but the fact that Ghana is involved is another worrying factor, as many of the scammers hail from there.

    These guys are professional scammers and they specifically target vulnerable who fit your mother’s profile. Generally, the story they tell is the same – the guy is widowed, has a son / daughter back home who is cared for by his parents, needs the money to pay for some phone service, arranging leave, collecting a package or something to do with the kid… Do any of these ring true?

    I suggest you contact the dating site where your mother met this guy with this guy’s username or full name and ask them for advice. Sadly, many sites won’t admit that a scammer has been using their site, but they would close his account or tell you he was in violation of their rules. Believe me, when checking someone’s profile, dating site moderators can see very quickly and very clearly if he is a scammer by his pattern of use. Unfortunately, even with hours, days and months of hard work, it’s impossible to remove all scammers from the site before they contact someone. I hope your mother didn’t send too much money to this guy.

  27. Hi, my name is Lorraine and i think I have the same problem as the other women on this page … I was chattimg with a guy is name vis Ralph Edwards and i gought is about the same fraud of all he other one cause he was asking me about money to … I was stupid anaught to sent him 200.00 canadian but it’s over now and hopefuly if my story could help other witch i hope … Thanks to read me …Lorraine .

  28. Hi, my name is Lorraine and i think I have the same problem as the other women on this page … I was chattimg with a guy is name vis Ralph Edwards he was saying his fron Bagdad and i dought is about the same fraud of all he other one cause he was asking me about money to … I was stupid anaught to sent him 200.00 canadian but it’s over now and hopefuly if my story could help other witch i hope … Thanks to read me …Lorraine .

  29. Interesting, signed up to a dating site just a couple of days ago…within minutes got contacted by this fantastic chap….in the British army, logistics, widowed, 17 year old son lives with grandparents in the US as his wife had been American. He sent me a photo….fantastic looking chap….too good looking, and my sense of ‘something not quite right ‘ here.
    Am chatting with him each day for a couple of hours and is very optimistic about a potential future for us…..Ali wou
    D of course love it to be true, but so glad I looked on here as my instinct tells me there are too many similarities to scams experienced by the other writers on this site…..will keep you posted

  30. I just got hit on by someone going by Chris Jason (ID Chrisjason12345) on…almost instantly he tells me IM is too slow on there, let’s get on Yahoo messenger…classic tactic. I tell him no, I don’t leave the site at all without knowing someone very well (admission, I temporarily fell for two scammers’ techniques in this vein but eventually caught on and reported them). He says well, he hardly ever gets on Match, so email him at Yahoo. I said, no thankyou, safety first, and closed the browser. These guys make me sick, preying on single women and single moms…they are the scum of the earth!! I’m going to report this guy, it’s all too classic and I smell a rat. Be safe, everyone…wise as serpents, gentle as doves. Cover your butt, even if it feels paranoid. Do it.

  31. mster sergeant steve jordan email
    gorgeous, 6′ 2″, american italian stationed in afghanistan, widowed 2 beautiful kids who live with his in-laws in scotland …NOT…
    i stupidly got taken in my him, but the wonderful emails he wrote to me he has been sending exactly the same to others. i really beleive in him stupidly, his story was too good and the many pics he posted seemed real, lots of him with his kids too. and he was drop dead gorgeous. anyway he wanted $2,500 from to get him leave and also asked me to apply to his commandant. i refused and he is still denying he is doing anything wrong, even though i sent him the link of the exact same letter he sent ‘lauren’
    i had a weird feeling straight away as he hadnt spelled his surname correctly on his email address, but was so taken in by him i dismissed it. i sent forms with my name, full address and mobile number, and his last communication he said – well even if you dont pay the money for the leave i have your contact address and will find my way to you, my love..bit of a veiled threat but scarey nontheless when he knows i have two young kids
    everyone should be aware of these scams, these people are scum

  32. Hi im currently talking with Sgt Major Gary Craig Shipley from Dallas Texas deployed in Iraq. He has asked for nothing but has a son and is also widowed. I have asked for proof and he says he can provide it. I have found a phone number for him if its him but havent rang yet.Maybe someone should set a a site just for details that these men give us and we could look them up straight away saving us emotional space.Like a Scammer hotlist lol oh his email add is gary_75thbrigade@yahoo

  33. yes been e mailed on facebook for 3 weeks. a sergent Gerald wilson basic life support augmentation logistics log cap 111 deployed for 6 yrs. he had a daughter lived with mom in states. wanted me to subscribe on phone was going to get the army base to ring me! obviously coppied photograph! what a shame for these soldgiers!something needs to be done!

  34. i’ve just been scammed by a man saying he is a staff sargent bobby george who’s wife and child was killed in a car crash. He asked me to pay for his leave request and is still asking me for money if though i’ve told him i no it’s a scam but he ain’t gettin anymore.

  35. Watch out for a Eddie Butierrez…tried to get me to do a lot of things for him but I wouldn’t….send money…wire transfers…wanted my online banking information…wanted to know my mother’s maiden name…
    He says he’s 37 and is a widow with a five year old daughter…he uses a picture of a very good-looking man and that’s what caught my attention at first…but wants to marry me within the week…just stay clear…

  36. Hi, I’m in australia and within 2 days have had 2 US army guys contact me, David Murray & Jeffrey Ruddock, after reading these I think they may be going to scam me, it;s awful how they can play with your feelings. David professed love after about 20mins and said he was going to move to Perth, I check the dating site and his profile is under review so I have deleted him. Jeff however, think he may still be a scammer (not sure yet) is saying all the right things. At least I’m not stupid and won’t be giving any money to anyone from online.

  37. I also talked to Chris Graham who claims to be a soldier in Iraq. He says he is from Texas, that his wife died and his parents take care of his son. What totally tipped me off was his horrible command of the english language for someone who lived in the united states his entire life.

  38. Hi girls these are the 3 photos I have of Major Jonny Nugent the American soldier in Afganistan. He has been very quiet the last couple of nights so I guess I wasnt forcoming enough with the money he needed and he is trying elswhere. Remember the profiles were Amtyville and Styloz listed for Sydney Australia on His email goes under jonnyontherun and remmember the LtGen David Howell Petraeus and his email which is hope they come out ok and we can catch these guys before they do too much more damage


  39. Just wanted to say I received an email via FaceBook….the guy is Ralph Fagon edwards Command Sergent Major e-9 rank officer. Not the first time I get one of this. I did get one at some point in and they all desperatlty to get you to talk in Instant message….
    Scams!! scams! all of them. They did not make money of me and will never be able…but I wanted to add my comments

  40. i met someone on facebook. he is going under the name kelvin schroeder and his email is kelvin.schroeder @,
    he emailed me saying he lived in seattle,wa and had a son named Jacob. his wife and parents had both passed and he had no other family. he was an engineer and going to london on business, after being there 3 days he emailed me and said he left his money and credit cards at home. he asked if i could send him money. i told him i did not have it. then he was trying to give me the guilt feeling. he said if i really loved him i would send him the money.
    you know i never noticed it but, now when i look back at his emails. the spelling was off and he was using words in past tense. someone who is an engineer and an american would not be writing like this.

    Ladies be careful of Kelvin Schroeder

  41. i met a guy his name is Alex Swain.met him on Meeteez via facebook.he says hes in the USA Army based in Afghanistan,been in 25 years due to come out in May.hes got to go on a mission but doesnt want to go .so asked if i would pay for him to get special leave.i havent sent any money because a friend told me of all the scams that are going on ,thank god she did before it was to late,so if any one else have heard of Alex Swain let me no ,

  42. hi there

    i have another one on claims he is a u.s soldier a sgt no less called james butterfield email butterfieldj90 gave me all the chat as they do then said about this special leave and needs me as a guarantor and for me to pay $500. of course i said no. it is such a shame this happens especially as making out to be in the forces very low.

  43. Hi I,ve just had an attempted scammer but didnt fall for it..
    He is going by the name of John roberts and using Zoosk to lure women in he is suposed to live in Manchester UK but his IP address takes him stolkholm…
    he is supposed to be half Italian good lookin and i do have photos but do not know how to upload them or have checked out… i did notice though on zoosk he did change his profile area to Newcastle New south Wales in Aus so he is working his way round…. He sends the biggest bouquet of roses you have ever seen and supposed to be working in legos something to do with the oil rigs?
    then 3 days before he was due home he had been beat up him and his driver and robbed of every penny he wanted £500 to get home… he didnt get it but be aware like i said i do have photos

  44. Thanks for posting Julie. An Alex Swain with the same description you gave contacted me on I decided to google his name before responding. So glad I did & so thankful for your post! We women have to look out for each other!

  45. i was blackmailed last year..i was on the website tagged and this guy called patrick cleveland contacted me..we spoke on yahoo msn and i saw him on webcam..he was very very goodlooking and i stupidly exposed myself on cam..anyway he said he was going to visit me in a few days and one night rang me up crying, saying that someone captured what we did on cam and wants money..before that i got an email from someone called musab saying that he would expose the footage to all my facebook friends if i didn’t pay up..he started saying that he could sell it as porn for so much more money but pitied me as he was a good muslim(!!!) and would never do that to another muslim..well i immediately knew he and this bastard patrick were the same guy..sent them emails with more than a few f bombs..saying they could do what they like..i really don’t please please be careful..

  46. I am really thankful for sites like this one. I have been recently separated and decided to check out two on-line dating sites. I was totally not prepared for all the “fake” attention I have been getting. I have narrowed down a profile of men I will not even respond to and I would suggest you do the same. This is what I have found…
    The perpitrator will be white, a widower, has one child that he is solely responsible. His wife has often been killed in a car crash,or he has been in a bad marriage where his wife had many affairs. He is most often 5’10”, may or maynot have a sibling, but if they do, they often live far away or are not emotionally close. Their parents have passed, they claim to live solitary lives and most importantly distance is never an issue. They also often open up ridiculous criteria looking for women 35 to 80… The ones I have met all claim to be Engineers, professionals, or US soldiers. Often there is a connection in their profile or once you talk to them regarding working as private contractors, working in Europe and sometimes Africa. Don`t be fooled by flowers and phone calls…apparently your presents are purchased with stolen credit cards. Learn from my mistake… If it is too good to be true…on these sites…they probably are.
    Be safe…You are not alone.
    Move along…

  47. I was reading #46’s post by Sue who wrote about JOHN ROBERTS. I was also swooned by him however, he informed me he lived in Los Angeles, his wife died of cancer, his 9 year old son lived with his mother in Galway Ireland and he was wanting me to go with him to London where he won a contract to work on a contract in a project in Nigeria. He picked to go with the oil lines because there was more money than the gas lines in the UK. He promised marriage and the whole package to me and he would be coming for me soon. He never asked me for money but had one weird request. I send him a watch. A Casio watch. Weird. He then sent me a picture of what the Casio watch was and it was a $500 Casio watch. I refused to and told him if he had so much money that I wouldn’t have to work once he “came for me” in a few months he could purchase it himself and he became upset with me to say the least. He got over it and I became very suspicious after that and began finding out more about John Roberts and I spoke with someone from Canada he had scammed as well. I have lots of pictures of this John Roberts as he portrays himself to be. I am sure it is not him at all. It’s a shame people pray on others who are vulnerable. Pity on them! Hopefully they will pay for it in the long run….

  48. Well mines a General in the US Army General Paul Baker he told me he loved me within 12 hours of speaking to him. The next day he had supposedly told his 10 year old son who was on a scholarship out in Ghana. and would i text him and say hi cos him i was going to be his new mum. A couple of days later he said he needed money for his son to but foodstuffs and he couldn’t get things out because the shop was shut. At the weekend after seeing more photo’s i sent thirty pounds. A few days later he said he had a lot of money in a sealed briefcase. Which he would send out to me having obtained my details. Then he tells me to follow the instructions of the courier when they got in touch. Two days late i received an email saying she had another delivery which had taken her to Ghana and that i needed to pay £550 so she could get a permil so through customs in ghana and England. I send an email back cc a copy to him and all of a sudden i get a phonecall from him. Which he later says he called to hear my voice cos i said i wasn’t going to be online, The next day i get an email from someone else in Ghana saying that i am beneficiary to the fortune left by a gold merchant all i need do is send my bank details so he can split the money between us. Yes like i’m going to do that. I was still talking to the General and kept wanting me to send the money if not the briefcase would be sent back and he would be in trouble. His kind of guilt trip was if he was sent to jail would i look after his son. The only way i know is to cut all ties even though he has my address, mobile and email.

  49. Response to sue and misty. 46 & 51. John Roberts now calls himself John Cooper. From Manchester, wife died in car crash, 2. Kids with grannie who have very odd names. He’s on I noticed how quick he was to love me. Huge flag. Then I waited for him to ask for money. He did, story that he & his driver were robbed. I told him i knew it was a scam and he wrote back super angry and threatening.

  50. This guy John Robert (s) now working under the name John Cooper told me he was from the UK, his wife passed away three years ago and that he didnt have any kids. He will keep up profiles for ca 1 week with every time different pictures, but if you look good enough you will be able to see it is him. You will find him back on Meet, Badoo, Zoosk and i am sure many more. Went on a business trip to NY than had to pick up his checks in Lagos South Afrika, because the German company didnt pay him.
    Stupid enough I did send money. A small amount to NY via Western Union. He never picked that up???? When he got to Lagos he said he needed money again to clear his checks and to pay the taxes. I send 1500 euro’s, that amount he did pick up? Probably with a fake passport or something, because when you send money thru WU to South Afrika you either have to have a bank account there or take someone with you that can verify you identity. I thought it was safe because the security for WU in those countries are tight. I guess not tight enough?
    He got his clearance to leave the country but than asked for money again for his ticket and hotel bills? So if you get into contact with this guy, dont send money? he scams people, and is probably still stuck in Lagos yea right. Unbelievable how low people can get to scam people.
    I came across other websites and posts from other women that he also tried to con. He will change his story some times but it comes down to pretty much te same. Check his ip adres because it will be from Zweden Stockholm.
    Sad to say but nothing but a lowlife scum bag.

  51. Responds to Misty and Sue,

    You can also place John Roberts with pictures on the website This is also a big dating scammer website. He is already on there with a cammers profile including pictures. But the more pictures and info about him is on there the harder it will be for him to con more women.

  52. A good thing to try if you are unsure about a suspected email message.

    Google the email address.
    This will pull up a history of mails sent from that address.

    You can also run a IP check.
    This will pinpoint the scammers location.

    Mostly you will find they come from Nigeria and Ghana.

  53. Misty, Sue and Cindy – I was almost scammed by John Roberts as well….same story here….widower with a 9 year old son who lived in Ireland with his mom….worked for the US Army Corp of Engineers in construction and traveled all over….his new email is and he is now on Are You Interested. He kept saying he couldn’t call me cuz he didn’t have calling cards, but he has an iphone…BIG RED FLAG – when he gave me a international phone number to call after I checked my phone records to see how much I would have to pay (which fortunately is $0) it said it was in Nigeria not the UK like he said he was going to.

    Cindy – I couldn’t find his scammer profile on….

  54. OMG!! Misty, Sue and Cindy,

    I have been contacted by John Roberts who goes by Johnson Roberts with the same email address Same story kid in Ireland which I thouht was suspicious and works as an engineer in the oilfield industry. His uses words a little different in his emails. That caught my attention too. So glad I found this site. Thank you to all that submitted this information. He just wrote to me yesterday with loving thoughts which got my suspicion as well and now I know. Good luck to all of you and thanks again for posting this precious information.


  56. I LOVE it when I get emails on dating websites from scam artists….it is SO much fun to mess with them! Its so obvious by their writing that they are foreign. I love asking them where in the stated city they live….and “we should meet for a drink tonight!”…they are ALWAYS out of town on an “engineering job” Its great for when I am bored at work!

  57. I don’t know if anyone has come across Sgt major Sean Michael Butterfield
    I cam across him on a free dating site and began chatting on yahoo. He was very charming, He said he was from USA and serving in Afghanistan. I began to suspect things were not right from the way he constructed his sentences. He told me it was his birthday in a few days and would I send him something special like MP4 player, I had only spoken to him for about a week He then suggested we talk on the phone and gave me a link to set up communication, this was going to cost me $600 I refused to pay, he then said he would like to come over and meet me and said I would have to write to his superior to ask permission for leave. I did send the email and received an email back to say I would have to pay for him to come home on leave. When I questioned him about and said I wasnt going to go along with it, He accused me of been a heart-breaker. I feel sure this is a scam, I appologise if it is not but something really doesnt seem right

  58. I have been contacted by a John Roberts on Are you Interested through fb and his email is Yes, same profile story wife dead for 7 years, son lives with his mom, he is Civil Engineer, has traveled Europe, Africa & all over the US. He has only been in contact with me for a couple of days, I am very apprehensive of these low-life scammers so I thought I would check his name out – thanks goodness I found this so I wont waste anymore time reading his emails. Beware Ladies

  59. I am very new to this online dating(about 1 week) but I would like to add that I have already made some observations and noticed that men that are potential scammers are writing very, very long emails, everything they write makes it sound like they are the perfect guy… good to be true. They even mention the word “love”. Who does that initially, or even early on really? And there are just as many posers out there just looking to get laid hoping women will be like Dominoes Pizza & deliver.

  60. yahoo messenger John_roberts203 is now on ‘Are you Interested’, our of Los Angeles. Great pix, but when he asked me contact him @ this site, I googled first. !! Thank you for the advice, will now delete his email. Appreciate it. thanks.

  61. Has any heard of “Sweets mile”, on Are You Interested? Curious, we’ve been chatting but there seems to be something off.. Hasn’t asked for money but after all the above comments about scammers, I wonder. Thank you.

  62. Sorry to clog the feed: ‘Sweets mile’ = John Lehn. If you have heard, I would appreciate your comments. Thank you.

  63. #1 I also was contacted by through ‘Are you Interested?” by THANK YOU for this site… I now know not to continue the conversation. I truly appreciate the info.
    #2 Has anyone heard of ‘Sweets mile’ or Joseph Lehn, Bellmore? He is also on AYI and my radar is up now, thanks to your informative info. I would appreciate the feedback. Be Safe!

  64. I was contacted by ‘James Butterfield’ from Perth, Australia. He said he is CEO at big company. He said He is divorce with Two kids. After a few contacts, he sacmmed $20,000 out of my pockets… No more online dating for me!

  65. WARNING: Garret James Absolom, aka Sweetgarrett, aka Gary James, aka Garrett James email from ? Massachusetts.

    After almost 4 weeks on-line & international calls while he “was in England with his son awaiting a shipment of computers from China to re-sell in the States”, & of course many promises of love…. He ‘told’ me that the shipment arrived but he didn’t have enough money for unexpected cargo fees. He didn’t have a line of credit, didn’t have a credit card, was pawning his jewelry for the fees. He wanted over 2 thousand dollars, because ‘we love each other’.
    Didn’t send the money, thank goodness!
    BE CAREFUL, did a background search, oh boy; over 80 site hits.
    Please avoid this one like the plague. Reported him to the site on which we hooked up.
    Thank you to this site!! for teaching me how to be careful.

  66. Here’s a new one: Ernest Waters; ernestwaters41; 17 Fulton Road, Somerset, New Jersey; 716 240 0831; 908 312 2299/ Construction. After a few weeks of IM’s on Yahoo, he asked for $5k to help finish a construction site. Knew he was too good to be true and was waiting for the shoe to drop. BE AWARE.

  67. Ladies be on hte lookout for Patric Peterside , aka patrick petersen, Petrsside aka petrside cause he is crafty he was all Dr. Jeckyl when we first ” met” on but after 3 weeks of ” Baby you are the love of my life ” or ” I would be lost with out you”
    or my favorite ” You are the woman that God sent to me when i prayed for an angel you suddenly arrived then Mr. Hyde came out He had stated that he was C.E.O. of a big overseas construction company but at 45min before he was supposed to come to my house for dinner he sends me an e-mail His company had a crisis in the Philipenes and he had to fly there that night 1st, red flag 2nd when he was supposed to be on his way home , i waited at the airport and his flight came in but not him. He said that he was in jail because of one of his workers tried to smuggle something into the they detained them 3rd. he needed money to bail his workers out even tho his said and i quote verbatim ” I make 200,000.000 a year so if you are a golddiger dont bother me if you need a loan try a bank’but he skipped around why he needed my money not using some of his 200,000,00 bank accoount , So the tyraids began and then it went down from 5000.00 to 2000.00 to 800.00 down to 250.00 and everytime i said NoNo NO NO NO theMr. Hyde came out Finally i got a text from him saying ” Please do not e-mail text or csll me anymore you have broken my heart and it is gona take some time to recover, The main reason is that the picture he had poasted on Match was of a good looking (( actualy gorgeous) white sprovx 50 yrs old
    man with salt & peper hair ,and a smile that akes you go…..well i wont get in to specifics but when I p pulled him up on facebook there was a 30 yr, old black man with native garb you see in movies like Coming to Americs, he had no explaination for any f the facts he just focused on when i was gonna send him some money or he was gonna starve to death, Good one less scamer out there

  68. My scammers name was sgt bobby George. He is widowed with a son Melvin cole..his sister is raising him and her name I’d Debbie. Red flags off jump street. He wanted to know what make and model car I drove. Wanted to know all about my family so I would get emotionally attached. Especially my kid. Talked a lot about god. Was in love with me days after we met. Wanted me to help with $ to get him a 3 month leave to come meet me. Please ladies do not fall for this. Yes I admit I got attached and my heart has been broken but it will mend. Stay safe ladies!!!!!

  69. Please ladies be aware of a David charles smith who says he is 53 and from Orlando florida, his email address is He says he has a 13yr old boy called Jerry and his wife died 6 yrs ago. He is a very very believable man and we got very very close over 2 months of talking. He phoned me at home and we talked on skype as well.I was stupid and with a very believable story I paid £1800. He says he is in export and export of cars. He sent me photos of his son which look like him. He asked for more money and I said I was broke, he got upset when I said he was a scam.
    LADIES UPLOAD THE PHOTOS ANY MAN SENDS YOU ON THE WEBSITE , and it will bring up the alias these scammers use. I sent him a nasty email pointing out he had used the photos he sent to me on other websites .That was yesterday and last night quess what he has sent me an email from that email, saying Honey please be on skype tomorrow night we need to talk I miss you Kiss. This is going to be good.!!! I am a widow and got sucked in, please be careful out there ladies. Oh I found another website its I put his email address in and he should be in Redmond Washington USA.The money he very cleverly conned me out of was sent to Accra Ghana, I have found the man I spoke to is shown in photos as being in the Netherlands so it is a very sofisticated ring I was the victim of.

  70. I met a soldier Bernard kelvin he has one son Kelly claims he’s widowed and his parents died in car crash when he was young and he was brought up in orphanage on chat site mingle we have been in contact for 2 months he is deployed in Afghanistan and will be returning to US this October. Then he wants to visit me in Uk he hasn’t asked me for money and as told me his salary is paid in his USA bank account. I have his phone number can call him but he not me and we communicate on Facebook and email . I’m scared as when I suspected he was a scammer he cut me off and blocked me on Facebook now he’s back in touch what should I do please help

    1. Hi Jane,

      This does sound like a scam in the making, because of the similarity to his story to common scam stories. I would contact the Mingle site support team and ask them. Some companies will tell staff to inform you straight away if this is a scam (they can always see it, because they have access to his messages so would be able to see what he’s been saying to you and other women on the site), but other sites don’t like admitting they have scammers, so they might be vague about it with you but delete his profile. It’s worth checking to see if his profile is still there once you get a reply from them. I would be very careful with this guy. Maybe best to cut him off.

  71. Barbara, just saw your post about “Sweets Mile” Joseph Lehn. He’s just a guy, and did what he needed for himself; dated around, looking for the one. Hope you weren’t hung up on him. He’s like all guys, smooth.

  72. Would like your views on someone who goes by the name of Karl Singleton I met him through Zoosk and have been chatting to him for a while. As of yet he has never mentioned money. Unlike a lot of comments I read, he does answer all my questions, never avoids them and remembers a lot of things. I am not stupid and know it could still be a scam He is on facebook. All of his photos are of the same person. He has friends on face book as well. He said he works for UN and is out in Jordon helping refugees!!! Last week he asked me to help him come home on leave and got me to send an email to un headquarters and I got a reply from them not asking for anything just that they would be looking into and talking to this guy. I would NEVER EVER send money, give any personal details to anyone. But am a little confused by him. If he is a scammer happy to string him along for while longer. Has anyone heard of him. By the way he is still on Zoosk website but as an inactive user? Any comments greatly received. Thanks

  73. Hi think I had a scammer on Badoo , ticked all the boxes of one .
    1. Quickly wanted to get on Skype , but his camera didn’t work so I couldn’t see him .
    2. He had a parent from another country and schooled abroad , so grimmer and spelling bad .
    3. A child in tow ,
    4 wanted me to quit the site ,as I was now his wife after just a day
    5 he was calling his daughter , my daughter .
    6. Import export company .
    7. Was always stressing the importance of trust .

    His Facebook only had four friends , I screen shot before he deleted them , all from Ireland.
    I blocked him . Name was Alan mitcham .

    To me these seven points were enough to rase enough suspicion to move on

  74. Anyone contacted by Stanley Moore in Miami? Wife died in childbirth, 5 year old twin daughters? Asking for a friend. Any comments helpful.

  75. I have been texting a sgt major in the usa army who states he is in damascus on peace keeping duties. Email add. Richardbrownx16@gmail .com. been chatting on hangout for about 6 weeks. Doesnt have access to skype or mobile phone due to security. Just been asked to send £530 to enable his luggage to be sent to me. I told him no o couldnt and now being pestered to open up an internet bank acct for his friend george to have an atm card in my name to be able to transfer funds to him for payment of shipping luggage. Met him on not the first scammer from this site…they join when have their 3 days free advert going on. Please be aware of him ladies..really good at sending photos etc. States grew up in tampa but calls new york his home. Gets angry when asked questions and texts at midnight even though the time difference is only an hour

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