How to tell if he / she is married?

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Fact: a significant number of people who use online dating are already married or otherwise attached.

MSNBC claimed recently that up to a third of those dating online in the US are married already. I don’t have the figures in the UK, but I would assume they’re not far off.

As much as I disagree with this form of premeditated cheating (to clarify: I see all forms of cheating as inadvisable, but it’s one thing to be swept away by someone you met at random and a totally different one to go actively looking), I do approve of cheater sites and sites that let you display the “married/in a relationship” option. Why? Because this way less people get lied to and less people get hurt. There are people out there who don’t mind seeing married people, so let them dig their own grave.

Unfortunately, some people don’t bother telling you, so you have to figure it out yourself.

Here are some handy signs to tell if someone is an online dating player:

  1. He / She only calls or is available for you to call on certain set or odd times and can never see you on weekends.
  2. He/she won’t invite you round his/her house even when you’ve been seeing each other for a few months.
  3. He/She only has time for you when he/she is in town for occasional “business trips”.

  4. He/She won’t give you a landline number to call (though nowadays a lot of people don’t bother with a landline, so this on its own may not be a sign).

  5. He/She finds excuses for not going anywhere public with you.

  6. He/she often disappears for periods of time, often without good explanation.

It’s important to note that sometimes there’ll be a good explanation for one or more of the above things, so unless your suspect cheater ticks a few of these boxes, don’t be too hasty to judge. Some cheaters have also got it down to an art form, so might not display any of the above. It’s true what they say, though, that a woman (and a man!) always knows. So trust your instincts. In most cases, you’ll know very early on if someone’s being dishonest, although you may not want to admit it to yourself.

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