Finding love, like any other journey, is a thing of many different paths all leading to the same goal. Some people prefer to leave things to fate, while others work the odds and try to mathematically and statistically improve their chances of finding someone.
There are always stories around of people finding each other on a dating site that, by right, should have never yielded any results whatsoever. You know the deal – a million profiles of horrible people you never want to meet and then wham! The man or woman of your dreams appears, you chat, fall in love… Who’d have thought?
Luck, fate, pure coincidence… I’ll leave the judgment up to you. Such stories, however, are often touted out by dating sites in an attempt to keep people from leaving a site that is simply not right for them.
But here’s the deal. We all have our types, our likes, turn ons, things we find attractive in a person that make us want to get to know them better.
Some of these things can be (or seem to be) quite shallow – a certain body type, a profession, maybe a certain style, level of income, political view, etc.
But as we all know, a person could be 100% right on paper but totally wrong in real life. There’s no predicting chemistry and long-term compatibility is complex. It’s not enough to be of a certain type to be a compatible, long-term partner. So how can you work with this information to increase your chances of finding the right person?
Let’s say for example that you are a biker and have a thing for other bikers. If you were surrounded by people who are not bikers and a biker showed up, you may well find yourself drawn to that person, maybe even convincing yourself you were more into them than you actually are, just because they ticked a box that is very important to you and your choices are limited.
But put that same person in the context of a bikers’ bar or convention and you would be able to be more selective. Maybe you wouldn’t even look at that person in the same way. Instead of glossing over faults because you’re blinded by one part of the person’s character or style, you would be noticing the things you don’t like and free yourself to pick and choose someone based on the qualities that really matter.
your first job while dating online, then, should be to locate a dating site populated by your kind of people. Be that kind a scene, a vibe, a level of income, whatever. You need to put all those seemingly shallow preferences in their rightful place by making them common rather than rare. Give yourself some real options. The online dating world is full of different sites covering every niche possible. There are millions of people dating online. You just need to start narrowing all of these things down to what can really help you along.
Sure, you may meet someone when you least expect it, but you can’t predict. If you believe in fate then you should believe that it will find you regardless of the choices you make. Work to improve your odds yourself and at the very least you’ll know you’re not putting yourself in a position where you risk choosing people for the wrong reasons.No tags for this post.