Online Dating Profile: keep it friendly

June 22nd, 2009

For most people, the online dating profile is a work in progress. It changes as they use the site(s) they’re on and it adapts as they get responses and learn more about the type of people who contact them.

Sometimes this is a good thing, but all too often I see people, obviously fed up of getting the wrong type of responses (or being in the wrong type of relationships), who decide to address the issue in their profile… with terrible consequences.

Consider the following examples:

“Gold diggers need not apply”

“Please only reply if you’re sane, I’ve had enough of crazy women trying to contact me!”

“I’ve had enough of cheating, lying men, but maybe can show me you’re not all like that!”

All of these might seem like a good idea, but why write your personal description for the benefit of the people you don’t want to meet? In reality, writing things like this only achieves one thing: alienating people. Unfortunately, as most gold diggers, crazy women and lying, cheating men don’t go around defining themselves as such, you’re much more likely to alienate nice people by sounding paranoid and unfriendly if you go down this route. No cheater is going to read such a line and think “hey, I lie and cheat, maybe this lady is not for me”. Seriously.

It’s better to read and ignore a 100 messages from the wrong people than to have your profile sound unpleasant and alienate the one person you want to meet. If you feel that you must address certain things in your profile, try to concentrate on the positive and write your profile so that it appeals to the people you do want to meet.

The examples above could thus turn into:

“I would like to meet someone who is independent and self-sufficient”

“I’m looking for someone with both feet on the ground”

“I’m looking for someone who is honest and reliable”

This makes the whole thing sound much more pleasant and is far less likely to alienate anyone. Yes, you’re still likely to get some people contacting you who are not who you want to meet, but trust me, you’d have gotten those regardless. The freaks of the world can be incredibly thick skinned.

If you would like personal advice about your own dating profile, please see my online dating advice section.

Related posts:

1. Online dating profile cliches
2. Online dating profile advice – good or bad?
3. Online dating profile tips
4. Online dating profile help
5. Dating profile: faking it won’t make it

Entry Filed under: Online Dating Tips