Ten Signs that He or She is not the One
Online dating is a really fun and easy way to get to know someone, but at some stage you are going to have to bite the bullet and meet up with that person in real time. The fact is that no matter how well you have managed to get to know someone through an online dating site, eventually you will have to face the reality of who they actually are, and unfortunately, your suitors may not always match up to your expectations. Here are ten tips to help you decide whether s/he is the one or not!
If they take too long to respond to your messages and you get worked up about it, then ditch them. The fact is, the longer it takes a person to get back to you after you have texted, phoned or emailed etc., the less likely they are to be interested in you. People who are interested in you, behave as though they are. They ask about you, they are concerned about your wellbeing and they want to spend time with you. If you have been online dating with someone who emailed you twice a day for two weeks and then suddenly they email you just once in three days, something is amiss, and the most likely reason is not that they have been busy but that that they are simply not interested in you. Walk the walk.
They start to annoy you. You start to get annoyed by certain things they do or certain aspects of their personality or looks. When youâ€™ve been dating online you donâ€™t get to see the tics, but once you meet in the flesh, the crooked front tooth or halitosis can be a complete deal breaker. It may be shallow but itâ€™s a fact of life. Deal with it.
The other person is secretive. They donâ€™t like you to see whoâ€™s calling or texting them, or they claim to work away from home for a few days per week, or they have a job they canâ€™t tell you anything about because theyâ€™ve signed the Official Secrets Act, or they have a disabled parent so you canâ€™t phone them at home. Itâ€™s all BS. Run!
You canâ€™t be yourself. You have built yourself up online to be their idol; youâ€™re a Prince or Princess Charming. Now you find that you canâ€™t fart, blow your nose, smoke, eat or cry in front of them. This is not a goer!
You think you can change an aspect of their personality or how they look or behave. You canâ€™t. This person is not right for you. Move on.
Youâ€™re not a priority in their life. While you were dating online they wanted to know all about you and what you were doing. Now, out in the real world you find that most of their plans do not include you. S/he tells you what s/he is doing at the weekend and there is no space for you and no invite. Next!
You donâ€™t feel special. The person that you bring into your life should help to make you feel good. They are your wing person. They care about you. They are supportive. They buy you sweet gifts, they text you daft messages and write silly poems. When you are with them you feel nurtured and that you are their number one. If that isnâ€™t happening, if they are too busy ogling someone else, or they put you down, either to your face, or in public, you need to head on out and do not turn around!
You donâ€™t get a chance to meet their family and friends. If you are not a part of their whole life then youâ€™re on a hiding to nothing. Taxi!
Your friends donâ€™t like them. Dating online is an intensely private process that you do alone, although you may have mentioned to your friends that you had met someone. When your friends meet your new partner you will sense fairly quickly whether your friends like your new mate or not. While it is not always the case that your friends are right by any means, it is worth taking into consideration what they say. If it isnâ€™t just jealousy and sour grapes on their part, think about their perceptions and make amends if you can. Ultimately, however, what you do is up to you, not your friends or family.
No chemistry. Awww! Everything about the other person when you were online dating seemed sensational. Your profiles were a complete match and your messages and emails were full of fun and laughter. Online, they were exciting, interesting and sexy. In person their zip has zapped. You realise you are more in love with the fantasy image of them that you created online than you ever will be in person. It happens. You may even grieve a little for that online love. Be polite and let the real them go and then get back on that website and start the process over again!
Ten Signs that He or She is not the One