The following online dating tips are based on an experiment originally intended to test the effect of using professionally shot glamour photos as dating profile pics on a large dating site. The photographer created a profile on a network of sites catering to various niche markets (from standard dating sites to “cougar dating” and more risque sites), with a short but specific text and a particular photograph. Using this particular photo and the attached text seemed to get some amazing results, attracting over 3000 messages from men within one day across the board. I was given access to the results so I could share my insights from them with my readers. Here’s what we learned. It can be applied to any type of dating site you’re on.
The profile pic
Taken as part of a glamour photo shoot by Julia Winter at JW Studio in west London, it was specifically chosen to be sexy, but also mysterious and intriguing. The photo is taken from the back. You see long blonde hair, a slim figure dressed in what looks like a leotard and a thong, though not much of the model’s body is actually showing in the photo. The result is something that’s both revealing and modest – she reveals parts of her body, but nothing too risque, plus her face remains a mystery. Everything here is about promise and implied sexuality. It leaves plenty of room for imagination and makes guys want to find out more. And as any self-respecting stripper will tell you: nothing drives men wild more than this combination of innocence and sexiness.
Lessons you can learn from this
- A good photo will get you noticed. If you want to do well on a dating site, it’s worth spending time and even money getting it right. Most guys look at the photo first when deciding whether to message someone.
- Whether you realise it or not, your dating profile pic tells people a lot more than what you look like. If you keep this in mind when taking and choosing a photo, you can control the message you send. It’s worth taking the time to think about this as well, as this will influence both the amount and the type of replies you get.
- Leaving room for imagination when choosing a profile pic can get you lots of responses, even if your face isn’t actually showing.
- Implied sexuality works better than outright sexuality.
The profile text
The profile photo is sexy, yer demure, which we already know drives men wild for some reason. Now let’s look at how the profile text does the same.
The text itself
“Very Sexy Blond
never boring, never the same, love sex and will be carefully selecting the one to share my sexual energy with. Ideally, it will be nice to find someone for a long term.. but we need to start somewhere first, cannot be involved with anyone who has developed this as a hobby over the years.. I am looking for attraction and that magic connection, the chemistry which I can feel or not instantly..
I am very intuitive and I am not one-night stand person. The things I want to do are very personal and I need to have trust..”
Lessons you can learn from this
- Sometimes cliches work – “sexy blonde” is pretty much a common fantasy. Guys know what they expect when they see something like that. “Sexy brunette” or “sexy redhead” would work just as well.
- A woman who calls herself sexy obviously has high self-esteem and that’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, because confidence is sexy.
- Challenge and reward – this woman is selective, so she might not be into you, but she’s looking for a long-term connection with someone trustworthy and reliable, rather than a one night stand. She enjoys sex, so if you win her heart, you’re getting the good stuff. This fires up the male ego and competitive streak like nobody’s business. Guys want to prove that they’re good enough and they also want the “prize” waiting for them if they do get chosen.
- Men love women who are sexually liberated, as long as they’re the ones enjoying the liberation. Saying you love sex but only want to do stuff with someone special is pretty much the best thing you can say to get responses from guys. Again, it’s the perfect combination of slutty and modest and makes a guy believe he’ll be made to feel very special if he manages to meet the woman’s standards.
- Like the photo, this profile text reveals some things but keeps others hidden, which is intriguing to guys reading it and provides a good starting point for asking questions.
- You don’t need to write too much in a dating profile to get guys writing to you. A few things to pique their interest can be enough, especially if you have a good picture.