What should the first date be like?

January 19th, 2009

Q: I’ve met someone I like on a dating site and I think we are ready to meet up in person. What is the best thing to do on a first date? Is a romantic dinner the way to go?

A: Personally, I’m not a fan of overly romanticising the first date. For one thing, first dates can be really nervewrecking for many people, so there is no need to make it into a big deal and make it even more scary. Remember that you won’t really know for sure whether or not you have chemistry with another person until you’ve met them in real life. No amount of talking online can tell you whether or not you will find someone attractive, no dating expert can tell you this and there is no personality test in existence that could answer that question. Only you can answer that question and only when you’ve seen your date in person.

So until you know whether you actually *want* to get romantic with someone, there’s no point arranging a date that may end up making you feel awkward.
Instead, I suggest you opt for something non-threatening and non-committal: a pub or bar (popular choice in the UK) or a cafe for the non-drinkers are always good, as long as they’re not too noisy. You can always continue to a romantic restaurant later, if the mood takes you, but don’t put yourself in a situation where it’s expected, before you’ve seen the goods.

Remember to always opt to meet in a public place and, women especially, read up on the safety rules before meeting anyone in person.

Related posts:

1. 5 first date location ideas
2. 5 things you shouldn’t do on a first date
3. Is running a search on someone you met online a good idea?
4. Who should pay for the first date?
5. The best online dating site

Entry Filed under: Questions and answers