Is running a search on someone you met online a good idea?

October 13th, 2009

When you meet someone online, it’s tempting to try and find out more about them, to see if they are all they’re cracked up to be. But is this the best policy to ensure a happy ending for your love story? A recent article in the Washington post asks whether there can still be a true blind date in the days of the Internet.

With Facebook, Myspace, linkedIn and other social networks, you can find out a lot about someone just by searching on their email address or full name, but some experts question whether you should, as they say it can kill the mystery inherent in meeting someone for the first time.

Of course, we must remember that real life blind dates of the type some of these experts are mourning are often not nearly as blind as you might think. If a relative, friend or matchmaker hooks you up with someone you might not know all the details yourself, but the person matching you up would know enough about the person to think you might be suitable (and that the person in question is not a freak). If you were set up on such a date, you would surely ask a lot of questions (“what does he do? Why is he/she single? What does he look like?”) It’s natural to want to know stuff about a person before you meet them, so that you know you are not likely to be wasting your time and this is true even if a friend set you up.

Obviously, if you’re going to meet a complete stranger off the Internet, you will want to know a lot more and rightly so. Is he/she married? Into anything you might find weird? Is this person being honest with me?

But there are other questions we might ask that are indeed not so useful and could make us get the wrong idea about the person, simply because we see what we want to see.

As someone who has often used the resources available to find answers to questions that intrigued me, I don’t believe we should attempt to halt progress. We should, however, know when to give people the benefit of the doubt if we come across something we’re not sure about. Someone coming up on Facebook as being married while happily posting a single’s profile on dating sites is reason to move on. A bad picture, curious hobby or unfunny joke is not in itself such a reason.

Related posts:

1. The best online dating site
2. Are online relationships more disposable?
3. How soon should you meet up?
4. 5 things you need to get over if you want to find love online
5. What should the first date be like?

Entry Filed under: Relationships and dating