An Online Dating Blog by Shimrit Elisar

What we can learn from dancing

August 19th, 2007

Last week, I went to a tango class for the first time in a while. It was a new class with an entirely new crowd of people I’d never danced with before. having danced with about 10 different guys throughout the class, I was suddenly struck by how much can be learnt about people from this type of physical, non-sexual interaction. Couples’ dances are a form of conversation. There is a leader and a follower, it requires clarity and attentiveness on both parts to create a flow of movement and create something beautiful together.

I can’t think of a better metaphor for relationships. In fact, I am pretty certain you can learn a lot about the way people are in their relationships by observing the way they interact with each other while dancing.

Some guys were very musical, but didn’t know how to lead. Others were very confident, but weren’t paying any attention to the music whatsoever. Some guys were attentive, while others kept stepping on my toes. Some apologised, some blamed me for getting in their way.

Each one of these things taught me something about the person it would have taken me months to learn otherwise.

Now, usually couples’ dances hail from eras where men were considered the driving force of a relationship and women were generally thought to be the quiet ones who did what they were told, which makes the whole concept a bit difficult for women like me who are not used to depending on men to push them about the room, but as an exercise in communications, dancing can’t be beat.

It made me realise how flimsy online communications actually are in comparison. Using the Internet to meet people you otherwise wouldn’t is pretty amazing, but let’s never forget that there is a whole world out there, and a whole other world in us as well.

Entry Filed under: Relationships and dating