I know it’s hard to be single this time of year, but I wish people would stop feeling sorry for themselves all the time. There are actually some perfectly good reasons why being on your own right now is a perfectly valid place to be. You can keep looking for someone to be with while still appreciating what you have in your life right now.
1. No more fighting
This is a dark, miserable, financially stressful time of year. Think you’re getting the worst of it because you’re on your own? Look around you. Everywhere I go I see couples shouting at each other. I actually saw a couple arguing right under an advert depicting some happy, romantic Christmas couple moment – I wish I’d taken a picture. Allow yourself a smile and a sigh of relief every time you see people having a tiff. It could have been you.
2. Lots of couples break up this time of year
This is the worst time of year for breakups, as we all know. If you need proof, just check out this graph of Facebook relationship status changes. If you’re already single, you just saved yourself feeling heartbroken, angry and miserable on the darkest month of the year. Obviously not all relationships are bad and some people are having a good enough time, but being in a relationship is no guarantee. Rather than judging your life by some idealised standard of the perfect relationship, why not stare reality in the face? This is a challenging time even for the most devoted couples and you’re actually doing better than lots of other people right now by just living your life as a single person. Oh, and if you are one of those couples who just broke up, just read the next point on this list.
3. You don’t have to do the holidays with your ex’s family
Seriously, this in itself is reason enough to be happy. The thought of spending the holidays with someone else’s family is one of the things that pushes some couples over the edge into the breakup zone. It’s such a traumatic experience that many people prefer to break up just before the holidays rather than go through with their plans. So be thankful for not having to deal with someone else’s family politics and not getting into fights over where to spend the holiday in the first place.
4. There are lots of new people on dating sites
In spite of this awesome list of awesome reasons why being single this time of year is great, many people don’t like being alone on the lead up to the holidays. This is the busiest time of year on dating sites and dating apps. If you’ve been having no luck, this is the time to check again. Lots of new people will be joining every day. Schedule some dates and go socialise. You might not find the love of your life straight away, but you can at least meet new people and have some fun instead of sitting alone at home.
5. Lots of singles’ events everywhere
All the speed dating companies are having festive events right now. If you’re fed up of sitting at home and swiping left, go out and hang out with some real life single people instead.
6. Lots of parties to go to
December is party month. Everywhere you go are free cakes, free booze and free parties. If you live in a big city you can be out literally every night of the week doing something. It’s a great time to hang out with friends and meet new people. Use it wisely (and by “wisely”, I mean go out and get wasted).
7. It’s the perfect time to enjoy your freedom
Being single means nobody will bitch at you if you wake up hungover every morning. You can be spontaneous without having to factor anyone else into your plans. You can basically do anything you want with your time, even if it means sitting at home stuffing your face full of mince pies.
8. One less major present to worry about
Spend the money on yourself instead. At least you know what you want for Christmas.
9. There is so much beauty around
Lights, decorations, maybe even snow, depending on where you are – beauty is all around you. Even if you’re feeling low, being surrounded by beauty can help you shift your focus away from bad thoughts. Shift your focus away from what you don’t have to what you do have – friends, family, even just a quiet moment of standing and watching the world around you. Save your real misery for January and February when everyone’s broke and all the snow’s turned to ugly, black slush.
10. It’s the perfect time to work on yourself
Winter is great for introspection. Having free time on your own is the perfect opportunity to look at other aspects of your life that require attention. Reorganise your priorities, learn a new language, make some art, finally finish that video game – having the chance to do what you want with your free time is in itself a gift. Use this time to establish a baseline in your life so that when you do find a new relationship, you don’t lose yourself in it. Oh, and if you’re in a part of the world where this is actually summer: go hang out at the beach or go hiking or something. Why are you even here reading this when you could be out in the sun?